The art of self-talk

Communication is critical for a strong connection. Not just humans, but animals, birdsm,and even trees communicate with each other. One most important part of communication is “self-talk”. We all consciously or unconsciously talk with ourselves every day. However, have you noticed what the quality of your self-talk is? Or is it that you repeat the words that people say to you? The quality of self-talk can either motivate or discourage you. It can empower your self-esteem or on the flip side, lead to self-criticism.

In today’s competitive world, we need to reconstruct our process of self-analysis cognitively. Your self-talk needs to be grounded in truth and have the power of transformation. Sometimes what we hear and repeat is not our reality. That is one of the reasons that we stop improving. Sometimes these narratives are so negative that they harm our self-respect. For example, when parents tell their child “You are so lazy” or “You can never get good grades”, imagine how the child processes these words and which stay with him or her for life. Or if your boss says “You never finish your projects on time”, how you take those words creates a new self-belief. It is important to get feedback, however, you need to analyse and then process the feedback. This leads to self-transformation, which is important.

ASK YOURSELF

Before you accept any feedback, take a moment and ask yourself, What impact is this feedback going to have on me? Is this input going to help me grow? There is a thin line between what you receive and how you accept that information. Before accepting others’ opinions, make sure they are - in part or in totality – constructive for you. Otherwise, put a filter that transforms opinions into empowering self-talk.

For example, when you are told “You’re always late”, you modify that to “I will be punctual”. Or if you have to say to somebody “You are rude”, then you instead say, “You can be nicer”. Reframing negative statements into qualitative statements gives the power of transformation to the listener. Whether you are receiving or giving feedback, always remember to make it positive and constructive.

The formula of ‘criticism’ doesn’t help in anybody’s growth. To be the better version of yourself, you need to have better self-talk. Constructive self-talk enables you to start appreciating your small efforts and those of others, which then gives the strength for betterment. Be empathetic. Experience the sweetness of communication in every relationship.

Courtesy: Rajyoga Meditation Center, Kingston (meditation courses and counselling are offered free of charge). Email: kingston@jm.brahmakumaris.org. Or follow on Instagram: rajyoga_meditation_jamaica