Carolyn Cooper | Edward Seaga no got no jacket

 

CHAKA-CHAKA SPELLING

 

Last week, one a mi friend dem aks mi if mi did hear di new name fi di North-South highway. Not Edward Seaga Highway! Dat a di 'official' name. Di people dem outa road a call di highway Seaga jacket! Mi nearly dead wid laugh. A di first time mi did a hear dat one. Mi late! Mi never did read Colin Campbell letter weh did come out eena Gleaner from May 18 wid dis ya headline: 'Shame to give Seaga 'jacket''.

Campbell im was minister of information one time. An im a talk di truth: "We may be a docile and gullible people, but history will show that Mr Seaga had nothing to do with this highway and the parliamentary Hansard will, indeed, show his philosophical opposition to the concept of a national highway system as envisioned by former Prime Minister P.J. Patterson and continued by Portia Simpson Miller with the North-South corridor, followed by the East-West corridor."

Sonia King, mi friend weh did gi mi di joke bout Seaga jacket, shi write one book, Jacket ... Or Full Suit?: Paternity Testing From a Jamaican Perspective. Shi did head up di Paternity Testing Unit up a University Hospital. An shi tell some true-true story bout how woman lie an gi man jacket. Oonoo a fi read dat deh book.

 

SEAGA WELL AN KNOW

 

After mi laugh bout Seaga jacket, mi tink bout it. An it come to mi dat Seaga no got no jacket at all, at all. Di ting bout jacket is dat di man no know seh a no fi im pikni. Jinnal woman fool im up. But inna dis ya case, Seaga well an know seh di highway a no fi im pikni. A P.J. Patterson an Portia Simpson Miller a di pupa an muma fi di highway.

Andrew Holness im work im brains an clap on Seaga name pon di highway. Im tek weh P.J. an Sista P baby an gi it to Seaga. An Seaga dis tek it. Im nah seh a no fi mi. Im hug it up. It come een like when woman have baby eena hospital, an smaddy come een an thief di baby. Dat a no jacket.

It no too late fi Seaga tell Holness fi stop tell lie. An tek im name offa di highway. A ongle two lickle-lickle sign put up pon di two end a di highway. Di hell of a big sign still di deh pon di bridge, side a Mandela Highway:

 

WELCOME TO JAMAICA NORTH-SOUTH HIGHWAY, HAVE A SAFE JOURNEY

 

Me waan know if Holness a go waste money write over dat deh sign an put on Seaga name big-big. Better im tek down di lickle sign dem wid Seaga name.

Today a Father's Day. Big up all a di man dem weh a mind dem pikni! An mi no mean ongle spend money pon pikni. Man a fi spend time wid im pikni an show love. An nuff rispek to all a di man dem weh a mind odder man pikni. Jacket or no jacket!

 

PRAPA-PRAPA SPELIN

 

Laas wiik, wan a mi fren dem aks mi if mi did ier di nyuu niem fi di North-South highway. Nat Edward Seaga Highway! Dat a di 'ofishal' niem. Di piipl dem outa ruod a kaal di aiwie Seaga jakit! Mi nierli ded wid laaf. A di fos taim mi did a ier dat wan. Mi liet! Mi neva did riid Colin Campbell leta we did kom out iina Gleaner fram Mie 18 wid dis ya edlain: 'Shame to give Seaga 'jacket''.

Campbell im woz minista a infamieshan wan taim. An im a taak di chruut: "We may be a docile and gullible people, but history will show that Mr Seaga had nothing to do with this highway and the parliamentary Hansard will, indeed, show his philosophical opposition to the concept of a national highway system as envisioned by former Prime Minister P.J. Patterson and continued by Portia Simpson Miller with the North-South corridor, followed by the East-West corridor."

Sonia King, mi fren we did gi mi di juok bout Seaga jakit, shi rait wan buk, Jacket ... Or Full Suit?: Paternity Testing From a Jamaican Perspective. Shi did ed op di Paternity Testing Unit op a Yuunivorsiti Aaspital. An shi tel som chruu-chruu stuori bout ou uman lai an gi man jakit. Unu a fi riid dat de buk.

 

SEAGA WEL AN NUO

 

Aaafta mi laaf bout Seaga jakit, mi tingk bout it. An it kom tu mi dat Seaga no gat no jakit at aal, at aal. Di ting bout jakit is dat di man no nuo se a no fi im pikni. Jinal uman fuul im op. Bot ina dis ya kies, Seaga wel an nuo se di aiwie a no fi im pikni. A P.J. Patterson an Portia Simpson Miller a di pupa an muma fi di aiwie.

Andrew Holness im wok im brienz an klap aan Seaga niem pan di aiwie. Im tek we P.J. an Sista P biebi an gi it tu Seaga. An Seaga dis tek it. Im naa se a no fi mi. Im og it op. It kom iin laik wen uman av biebi iina aaspital, an smadi kom iin an tiif di biebi. Dat a no jakit.

It no tuu liet fi Seaga tel Holness fi stap tel lai. An tek im niem aafa di aiwie. A ongl tuu likl-likl sain put op pan di tuu en a di aiwie. Di el af a big sain stil di de pan di brij, said a Mandela Highway:

 

WELCOME TO JAMAICA NORTH-SOUTH HIGHWAY, HAVE A SAFE JOURNEY

 

Mii waahn nuo if Holness a go wies moni rait uova dat de sain an put aan Seaga niem big-big. Beta im tek dong di likl sain dem wid Seaga niem.

Tide a Faadaz Die. Big op aal a di man dem we a main dem pikni! An mi no miin ongl spen moni pan pikni. Man a fi spen taim wid im pikni an shuo lov. An nof rispek tu aal a di man dem we a main ada man pikni. Jakit ar no jakit!

- Carolyn Cooper, PhD, is a specialist on culture and development. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and karokupa@gmail.com.