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Tony Deyal | Good to the last drop

Published:Monday | August 19, 2019 | 12:00 AM

When you reach my age, you can get a bit depressed, especially when you look in the mirror after you shower and realise that your birthday suit needs pressing and there is nothing you can do about it. Even going to a shrink can’t help.

Actually, when I was a few years younger and living in Barbados, I went to an Antiques Auction and three people bid on me. I suppose that age has changed nothing. We were so poor when I was young that all I got for my birthday was one year older. Now I get more and more depressed at each successive birthday because I realise that, increasingly, the candles cost significantly more than the cake.

It did not help when I called one of my good buddies from the old days who I had not seen for many years because our paths had diverged considerably. Immediately after work, he still heads to the same bar where we spent much of our free time and money, and I to my home where I read and watch British detective shows on television.

He continues to be a heavy smoker and I, after stopping smoking abruptly one night, moving from three packs a day to zero, have become allergic to cigarette smoke. Worst of all, instead of chewing the fat, literally and metaphorically with him, I no longer indulge in other pleasures of the flesh, in this case beef, pork and other mammals.

So, when I told him that I was ­celebrating my birthday last Saturday, his ­immediate response was “How?” It immediately reminded me about the joke of the Indian chief who reputedly had the best ­memory in the world, and to test him, a British visitor asked casually, “Do you like eggs?” - and, not receiving a response from the taciturn warrior, left disappointed. Twenty years later, passing through the same ­territory, he again met the chief and, smiling, raised his right arm with his palm facing out and greeted the chief, “How?” The chief looked and then replied, “Fried.”

Fortunately for me, no response was immediately needed, or even necessary, for answering the question “How?” Within hours, had I been asked again, I would have been able to answer loudly and with gusto, not just “How?” but “What?” This was because my children, Jasmine and Zubin, aided by my cousin, Mulchan, and abetted by my son, George, and his wife, Sara, had made the alcohol, tobacco and fatty foods totally unnecessary.

SERIOUS REFLECTION

First, my twosome gave me a card that provided grounds for serious reflection because they couldn’t espresso how much I mean to them and, for bean present for them, they loved me a latte. This was not the pun-ishment that it seems because it was on a birthday card they lovingly designed and made for me.

Then Mulchan made sure I became a genuine has-bean by giving me a bag of Starbucks Melange Maison (House Blend) coffee beans. Then my son and daughter-in-law gave me two bags already ground but definitely not dirt cheap. Clearly, while they last, my cup definitely runneth over. In accounting terms, I’m in the black.

What made the gifts even more timely and propitious is that just a couple days ago, I had read, avidly consumed really, an article with the screaming headline, ‘Alcohol, coffee, and being overweight might actually help you live longer, study says.’ “What a birthday present!” I exclaimed as I celebrated my 74th birthday.

Essentially, researchers at the University of California’s Irvine Institute for Memory Impairments and Neurological Disorders started a study in 2003 to look at what makes people live past 90. They found that participants who drank moderate amounts of alcohol or coffee lived longer than those who abstained from either drink. In addition, people who were overweight in their 70s lived longer than people who were normal or underweight in their 70s.

I always knew that I was a diehard coffee drinker, but now I have the research to prove it, including a recent Stanford University study that explains ‘Why drinking coffee helps you live longer’. According to maxim.com, “In a new study published in the journal Nature Medicine, a team at Stanford University analysed blood ­samples from 100 ­participants, young and old. Most of the older ­participants had increased levels of activity in their inflammation-related genes. However, those who reported regularly drinking ­caffeine had very low levels of ­activity in their inflammatory gene pathways, more on par with younger participants.”

David Furman, author of the study, told Time: “The more caffeine people consumed, the more protected they were against a chronic state of inflammation.” While inflammation is vital to the functioning of the immune system, increased levels of inflammation, common in older age, can lead to chronic diseases like diabetes, hypertension, joint disorders and Alzheimer’s.”

All the research findings and their support for my lifestyle make me an unapologetic coffee drinker. I don’t have a problem sleeping at night and boast that a cup of coffee immediately puts me to sleep. My wife, Indranie, however, spends a lot of time tossing, turning and worrying about coffee’s harmful effect on my health. She is convinced that it is deadly for me and that my arteries are as hard as rock stone and getting as rigid as my ­determination to continue drinking fresh percolated coffee at least twice a day.

When I say it perks me up, she cites ­evidence from every health magazine and research study to show that coffee could pack me up for good. What bothers her most is not just my drinking the blessed brew, but when anyone asks me, “How are you?” I look meaningfully at her before replying with a mischievous smile on my face, “Good to the last drop.”

Tony Deyal was last seen worrying that if Indranie finds out coffee is a proven aphrodisiac for middle-aged and older men, hardened arteries would be the least of his problems.