Tyrone Bernard | Why must a woman sit in the middle seat?

I witnessed an atrocity this morning that made me want to, at the very most, turn in my ‘man’ card or, at the very least, hang my head in shame as a man, as I contemplate what we have come to represent.

A young man stood at the taxi stand as the taxi which I was in approached to pick him up. The taxi had in myself, on the front seat, a man to the right, on the back seat, and a woman, who was coming off before all of us, at Three Miles. She was at the left side of the back seat, at the door which is the point of entry. It seemed sensible to me that she would want to come out and let the man who was getting on the taxi get in so she could easily slip out when she reached her stop (something commonly practised by commuters which I witness on a regular basis since I take at least four taxis every day).

The young lady stepped out to allow this simple process to begin. I can only assume that the ‘man’ was insulted that a woman would want him to sit in the middle of the three-seat taxi. A fair assumption based on what he said next. His only words.

“Weh yu a come out a the car fah? Guh back inna di car.”

My heart sank and it was at this time that I was thoroughly ashamed that we, men, have descended to a place of the grossest depravity. A simple gesture understood by all but seeming to him to be castration. She kindly stepped back into the car, maybe embarrassed but she never showed it. Kudos to her.

I mentioned that it was his only words intentionally because there was no apology, no apparent regret, only a pomp as he sat at the window seat, legs wide open and hand on the window as if to suggest, ‘this is how kings are’.

I regret having to let you spend your precious time to read this but I want to understand a few things. Maybe you can help me.

WHEN DID WE COME TO THIS POINT?

How and when did we as men get to the point where we believe that sitting at the end of a car seat is for men and sitting in the middle is for women? How does that shine our masculinity to a blinding glare? It is something I have noticed. If there is a woman on the back seat and there are two men she must sit in the middle no matter how inconvenient, no matter how much time it takes for the man to get out and allow her to get in, then he takes up his glorified window seat. My wife has told me of many instances she has experienced. I once saw a man refusing to go in the middle of the taxi, saying he couldn’t move because he had a bag but I should go to the other side. On the other side was a woman with a baby, and get this, plenty bags of her own.

I have a young daughter and I intend to let her know as soon as she can understand, “You are a woman, a person to be respected and honoured.” And to the men who intend to look down at her against the background of their insecure masculinity, be aware that I have taught her this one thing ... My daughter doesn’t need to be as strong and as masculine as you as long as she is smarter, more intelligent and aware that we all have feelings.

I am well aware that feminism has influenced a few of today’s women but that must not be allowed to cause you to stand at the door of a taxi and say, “Weh yu a come out a the car fah? Guh back inna di car.”

I felt at that point to get out the front seat, take off my shirt. The shirt my (woman) wife spent her precious time washing, spread it out as a humble gesture, tell her to walk on it and allow her to take my seat and begin to apologise; not just for the half-a-man behaviour she just experienced, but for the centuries of maladjusted behaviour we see in our offices, in our political parties and in our homes.

I hope that young lady had a good day, and against all odds, if you see this ... I am sorry for how that boy treated you on July 27, 2020. I’m truly sorry, forgive us.

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