Single but iffy to mingle: Walk the talk

So you meet a guy, whether online or in person, and things are going, well, just going. You find yourself just moving with the flow, and while it's okay, nothing great is actually happening. Or, flip the script, conversation is sweeter than you could have imagined. You both clicked but you're having a similar result of reaching for greatness but not actually getting there. What do you do? I asked myself that question recently, and I've yet to come up with a solid answer.

Welcome to Single but iffy to mingle. I find myself stumbling into potential relationship roadblocks, which has me so 'shook' that I no longer aspire to run the race of romance.

A charmer by nature, it's no surprise that a man usually has his way with words. And these lyrics that he so eloquently recites can not only be engaging but powerful in delivering his message of desire. Which girl doesn't like attention? If she entertains a conversation, more than likely she wants you as much as you claim to want her. But how many men out there are following through and actually walking the talk? And is it just making the discovery that their bark is bigger than their bite? Pun away if you insist.

IF I LIKE YOU I MAKE TIME

I lead a very hectic schedule, so because of this, my time is very valuable to me. I'm also a firm believer of balance, so I try to make time for just about everything I care about: family, friends, work, play, recreational activities and meditation. If a man wants to be added to the list, I'll welcome him to do so, but I don't appreciate the busy card so many play as a ploy to not date. I'm more busy than I lead on. It's just that if I like you, I'll make the time for you.

Now here's where dating gets a lot harder than it even needs to be. With the invasion of technology playing the part of third party, the process of getting to know someone and finding out whether or not you have chemistry is becoming obsolete. Men have replaced dinner, movies, concerts and nice strolls in the park or on the beach with Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and Whatsapp. To add insult to injury, more and more, they're cutting to the chase of 'Netflix and Chill' just so their cravings can be met in one go at their convenience. I am by no means amused by this casual bravado, as I take matters of the heart seriously. Nothing excites me more than a man of his word, someone who plays it cool, meets up and has clear goals. Phone calls and messages are great, but they're just the icing on the cake. We have to gather all the ingredients needed, put them together and get to baking first to see if we can stand the heat in the kitchen.

So, to all my 'single ladies', he doesn't have to put a ring in it just yet. But you do need find out why, for whatever reason, he has all the talk without the walk to back it up.

Maybe it is that he's genuinely busy. Then a little understanding may have you come into play. Or you probably just needs a nudge to say, "Hey, you're missing out on this hot girl over here."

Believe it or not, it might be that he doesn't know how to really date. Girls, before you might have spoiled the man for the sake of making him and themselves happy. He meets up on a girl who has standards and he's thrown off his game. Since you're the expert, level him up. Suggest places to go and things to do that will be interesting for the both of you. Stand your ground and hold him to his words of commitment to the outing. You never know when these excursions may turn into rendezvous. 'Wink'

And last but certainly not least, if you have tried every way possible to spend some quality time together and it's just not happening. If you've run out on the patience department, then it may mean that you have to call a spade just that, a spade. And unfortunately, you may have to pull the plug on this potential love and see if it'll breathe on its own. If not: do not, I repeat, do not resuscitate.

krysta.anderson@gleanerjm.com