Worth the wait: Stephanie Hazle and Demar Lyle exercise patience before saying ‘we do’

The chaotic streets of Bangkok stood still for Stephanie Hazle as the man she had envisioned to be her husband in the future, Demar Lyle, made the proposal of a lifetime. No. It was not for her hand in marriage, but for her to become his girlfriend.

“This was October 2018,” explains Stephanie, “and although we both had an interest in more than friendship, we chose to get to know each other and kept it that way for the first of the two years Demar would be away studying in China.”

A trip to Thailand for an event hosted by the Global Shapers Community, of which she is a member, showed up on Stephanie’s radar, who also saw it as a chance to meet up with Demar for the first time in over a year and celebrate her 30th birthday. Although they were only able to spend four days together, they describe it as “some of our happiest days…that, along with being reunited as a couple and our wedding day”.

October remained a special month for the couple, with Demar choosing also to make his next big proposal on her birthday, on the eighth of the month two years later at a private dinner he prepared and planned with the help of friends.

“Waiting is an important and recurring theme in our relationship. When we first met, we waited for the elusive, mutually convenient time to have our first conversation. Only a couple months after that, he would have been packing his bags to head to China to complete his studies for a masters in crop genetics and breeding,” Stephanie told Island Wedding.

The popular actress and songbird added, “Here’s the thing; we have not resented ‘the wait’. It was not in vain. Surely, we have been anxious at times (me mostly), but we have been learning patience and trust as we wait. Learning to wait has been crucial to our preparation for the journey that lies ahead, as it has strengthened us in patience with each other, self-control, delayed gratification and all that good stuff. Even in preparing for our wedding, the theme has sustained us as we have had to wait in the midst of uncertain plans, between lockdowns, curfews, seemingly shorter days, and the ever-changing stipulations, we have found ourselves in pretty much a perpetual state of waiting. Hence, our wedding hashtag ‘Lyle Be Waiting For You’.”

WE DO

The couple said ‘we do’ last August on the lawns of Struan Castle Gardens, in the island’s capital, in front of a small guest list of 30 persons consisting primarily of close family members. Tears escaped the eyes of Demar as his bride walked down the aisle to the sounds of a Jasmine Thompson cover of This Year’s Love (originally by David Gray) wearing a dress designed and made by Keisha Allen from House of Clay. The song signified that the time of waiting on their own had finally come to an end. Nothing, not even the rain which threatened to burst and turn their outdoor reception under the stars into an indoor soiree, would not have dampened their spirits.

Demar said that was the standout moment of the wedding day. “I can’t say I was nervous; all I know is, I saw her coming down the aisle and I was just overcome with emotions, and the tears flowed freely. I couldn’t then, and I still can’t explain what happened as I am not really an emotional person. I think I was just happy when I saw my beautiful bride walking towards me. At that point I was the happiest man alive (we should be able to bottle that moment). The atmosphere was right with our family and friends sharing the moment with us, nothing else mattered at that point. I am definitely looking forward to many more moments like those shared with each other as we work towards recreating that bliss every single day.”

Stephanie chimed in to express that the message of the homily given by her uncle and the officiating minister, Reverend Dave Hazle, was something else that was noteworthy.

“The message was ‘love keeps no record of wrong’, as stated in 1 Corinthians 13:5 in the bible. The fact that people tend to remember distinctly when others hurt us, makes this charge particularly difficult. When we feel offended by each other, the scripture is saying, we should not keep a tally of these times, nor should we recount the wrongs over and over. Uncle Dave balanced that perspective with the encouragement to resolve issues quickly, and also to pray for the strength to stick it through, when necessary. I can say, we both believe this principle is key to having a happy marriage and a close bond with each other, and we hope to embody this in our relationship,” she said.

After the ceremony, the newly-weds would literally tie a knot to signify their promise to work together to make the union stronger, and also release two white doves to commemorate their union and entering a new chapter. Their first dance was to Leela James’ Fall For You, which is another song that has significant meaning to them both, it being a song both shared a liking for from the beginning, and the one they were dancing to when Demar got down on one knee.

Values aligned

“The lyrics of the song, ‘ I’m so used to standing, so used to being on my own. But this thing is new baby, feels like I’m losing control’ had hit so deep, ever since he made his intention clear by sharing the song within the first few days of talking to each other on WhatsApp. Needless to say, this song remained special to us over the years, and it had to be included,” Stephanie expressed.

Next to love songs, prayer filled conversations with each other and their individual villages of kept their union strong said the Lyles. They urge other couples considering to take the next step engage in prayer and counselling.

Stephanie said, “My encouragement would be to pray for the right person, or people, to support you and hold you accountable on this important journey. Choosing the person you give your heart to for the rest of your life requires all hands on deck. And if we tread the path alone, we miss the benefit of wise counsel and seeing things from other perspectives. The pandemic has taught me that we need people ... people who want the best for us and share our values; who will remind you of who and whose you are; who will be objective and tell you what you need to hear, and who will also celebrate with you; who will show up and give a hand when needed. Our relationship has shown me how much I have to learn in trusting God, especially when things don’t appear to be going the way I imagined.”

“I saw in her many of the qualities I was seeking in a lifelong partner; her smile, her soul, which she exudes with her interaction with people, and she is a principled, God-fearing woman. I also found that our core values aligned. I believe that when you meet someone like Stephanie, you ask her to be your wife. One of the things I think was the most important things, was ensuring that there was a real friendship; and ensure that you are a whole person,” Demar added.

stephanie.lyew@gleanerjm.com