Tackling Domestic Violence

According to the CARICOM Post-Beijing Plan of Action, at least one in every three women in Jamaica has suffered physical violence at some point in her life. There appears to be a deepening acceptance of domestic violence as almost a cultural norm in Jamaica, which often hinders attempts to stymie its prevalence. In this article, we present three shifts in our thinking, which will help upset this fast-approaching cultural norm.

 

Step 1: CHANGE our Approach to Gender Roles

 

We can start the process by adjusting how we socialise our boys. We can use various mechanisms to instil a deeper appreciation and respect for others, animals, and the environment. These include active participation in charitable events and activities at school or pet ownership at home. Broad-based appreciation and respect for one's surroundings and their contents tend to translate into greater sensitivity and thoughtful behaviour.

 

Step 2: Do Away with the 'But I love him and he loves me' Train of Thought

 

Some victims endure and cover up domestic violence out of a misguided feeling that it should be tolerated for reasons related to love. The Bible teaches us that "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7. In other words, acts of violence in the home are not how God expects love to be manifested. To be clearer, Christian love has absolutely no part to play in domestic violence.

 

Step 3: Put in Gear your Natural Flight Response

 

One distinguishing feature of domestic abuse is its repetitive nature. Research data see it as "a coercive course of conduct, usually involving a series of related occurrences, rather than a one-off event" (Walby, 2005). Domestic abuse has a higher rate of repeat victimisation than any other crime, accounting for 76 per cent of all incidents (Smith, Flatley, & Coleman, 2010). More so than any other crime type, victims of domestic abuse report the lowest levels of personal well-being and life satisfaction (Office of National Statistics).

The data suggest that once domestic abuse starts, it is likely to continue. Things will get worse, not better, if decisive corrective action is not taken.

It is important to be observant of your prospective partner in order to pick up early warning signs of tendencies towards abuse before getting deeply involved. More important, the encouragement is to trust your strength and God-given willpower to take appropriate action at the first incidence or hint of abuse or violence.

Appropriate action may take various forms and will be influenced by different situations. What is absolutely important is that it is not ignored and played down. It must be crystal clear that the incident is the first and last and will not be tolerated. If you feel threatened, report it to the authorities.

 

Heightened Awareness

 

Early awareness of signs and potential triggers can help protect victims from abuse. For example, there is a significant correlation between drunkenness and domestic violence. Does your partner exude negative and/or abusive tendencies while under the influence of alcohol? If yes, calling a friend or relative to come over until the abuser sobers up may be a possible option. The encouragement here is to reflect on what has the potential to lead to an abusive incident, angry episode, or threat and to avoid those triggers or take protective action.

Be safe!

Participate in a face-to-face interactive Conflict Avoidance and Management Personal Development Workshop being put on by the St Andrew Church of Christ, on Sunday, March 25, at 6 p.m. Location: 77 Red Hills Road. Facilitators: Andre Allen-Casey and Trevor Smith. No charge.

Simply Christians JA is an outreach Ministry of the St Andrew Church of Christ. They meet on Sundays at 9 a.m. at 77 Red Hills Road, Kingston. Website: www.standrewchurchofchrist.org , Email: standrew_churchofchrist@minister.com.