Dear Doc is back! With a brand new doc on board, we have brought back your favourite column to answer all your burning sex and relationship questions!

Q: Good day Doc, I am in my late 20s and my husband is in his late 40s. I wouldn't’t say he is a super dad, but he’s there for his children financially and otherwise.

However, he has no plans for our future. We always have a fuss if there is anything to be done around the house and he doesn't want to discuss buying a house or any other future plans.

Sometimes I feel rejected and unwanted. He's also very boring in bed with no foreplay at all.

Now I have met this gentleman who I’ve grown to really like after a few months and I have started opening up to him about my marriage. I know most men are  foxes, but I really trust this man. He too is very opened to me. We laugh a lot, we share ideas, and we discuss just about any and everything.
He makes me feel loved and beautiful. I save his money for him, and I do business for him — he'll do just about anything for me. We have never had sex before, but I guess that is in the making.
 
  Doc help what do I do? I don't know how to let go of this man. Every time we try to cut back on the hours we spend together we fail. We try to limit our phone conversations but no luck. So far he feels like my soul mate. What must I do?

A: First I must say that your complaints about your husband seem rather contradictory. You say "he is there for his children financially and otherwise" yet he is not preparing for the future. Ideally buying a home should be
 a partnership event. You did not say how long you have been married, is it just recently that he has started to ignore you? Be mindful of the fact that tension between you and your husband can have a negative effect on the children.

This other man that you have met appears to be a knight in shining armour, but it is a dangerous situation especially now that you are thinking of having a sexual relationship with him. That will only make things in your marriage worst. If you have not already done so, I suggest you and your husband seek counselling. There are many certified marriage counsellors listed in the yellow pages and some local pastors also perform these services free of cost. Hope you are able to work things out in your marriage.
 
Q: Dear doc, I have notice a hard bump on the side of my vagina. I thought it was been wax and canal, from a hard jerk or something, but it's still there. Is this a cause for me to worry? Also I have a cyst on my right ovary- I am in my 20s.

A: The vagina is inside the body and hence cannot be seen from the outside. The area you are referring to is the vulva -the delicate folds of skin in the groin area that most people call the vagina. A bump at the 'lower' end closer to the anus is quite common and is known as a Bartholomew's cyst. This happens when the tube from this area is blocked by dirt/grease. It can become very painful. See a doctor this week for a course of antibiotics which usually
 helps. Sometimes the doctor may have to make a small cut in the
 area to allow any inflection to drain out. One simple ovarian cyst at your age is common and not usually cause for concern. It is the little sac left behind when the egg is released around two weeks after your period. I suggest you repeat your ultrasound six months after the last one and have your doctor compare and discuss them with you.
 

 Q: Good day doc, this is my first time writing to you. My question to you is that my boyfriend and I are having sex without any for of protection and I have not been able to get pregnant. I already have three children and I would love to have a child for him. He would want one as well. I need your help.

A: You did not state your age, but in general, women over the age of 40 have a more difficult time getting pregnant as the eggs are less. Blocked
Tubes from past sexually transmitted infections is a common cause at any age. The problem could also be due to your male partner which is often overlooked. I recommend that you both see a doctor and have the necessary tests done. All the best. ​

Q: Good day Doc. A dermatologist has recently given me a preliminary diagnosis of Sarcoidosis pending a skin biopsy which is to be done later this week. This because I have huge black spots around my eyes which have left the area swollen. My ears are also darker and disfigured.

The next thing is that a young woman with whom I am in a sexual relationship, says that I have given her Bacterial Vaginosis. I wasn't aware  that I was carrying an STI, and have no idea how long I may have had it  as I have done numerous HIV tests and all have been negative.

So, my question to you is, can an untreated STI result in Sarcoidosis?
What drugs are used to treat this condition, and are these drugs steroids?
Is there any natural way of treating it??

A: It is good that our are seeing a dermatologist to treat your skin condition. So far there is no scientific evidence that sarcoidosis results from untreated sexually transmitted inflections. The cause of sarcoidosis is not yet known, but seems to be related to problems in the immune system, hence why steroids and other drugs that suppress the immune system often helps the condition. As far as 'natural' treatment is concerned, adopting a diet that aids in reducing inflammation such as lots of water, fresh fruits and vegetables, omega 3/fish oil supplements along with your medical therapy should improve the condition. Good luck. 

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