As Youth Month draws to a close, it is always beneficial to give a reminder to the nation’s future, a cohort of young people who often think themselves invincible. One area of concern is the choices that youth often make to ‘chill’ before getting to know their sexual partners well; something that Trishana* found out in one of the worst possible ways, when after, one sexual encounter, she contracted herpes.
“A lot of people nowadays are gravitating towards online dating, and I met a man online. He seemed to be very open – very concerned about my well-being. I was taking the time to get to know him,” Trishana said.
So after a few weeks of phone conversations and, according to Trishana, “asking him all the probing questions about himself”, they had their first face-to-face meeting at her house.
“Now, there was a part of me that felt a little uncomfortable because he seemed to be really touchy-feely, but in my mind, being naïve and all, he is a guy: and some guys are like that,” Trishana shared. “I told him to cut it out because I felt a little uncomfortable and told him that he needed to slow down because there was no rush.”
She told The Gleaner that she gave up her right and allowed “certain things” to happen.
“I invited him to my room, and we had sex for about five minutes there about, and neither of us enjoyed it, and about a week after, I realised that I started to feel a bit different downstairs,” Trishana disclosed.
The extreme itching led her to believe that she only had a bad yeast infection, but then a bump surfaced. Her initial reaction was to think that it was a hair bump, but in the back of her mind, Trishana knew that something was wrong. Soon, she used the little she had to visit a gynaecologist. After relaying what she was experiencing to the doctor, including the discomfort when she would pee, said she was given a cream for the affected area.
“He told me to rub the ointment there and that it may come back within about three months, but if it does come back, I should come see him and we will sort it out,” said Trishana.
But something felt off, and as she was about to leave the office, Trishana felt the need to turn back and ask the doctor what was happening.
“I don’t usually ask a lot of questions, but when I was going through the door when I was leaving, something in my mind said to me, ‘turn back’ and I said, ‘by any chance, do you happen to know the possible cause for this?’ And he said that he didn’t want to worry me, but it was something caused by herpes,” Trishana stated.
In shock, she walked back to the waiting area, believing that everyone was looking at her because they knew her condition. She could not wrap her mind around it, and thought that death was better. She even said goodbye to her cousin during a phone call on her way home the same day of the diagnosis.
“I saw a long line of traffic, and I stepped out into the road because I’m thinking that this guy knew and didn’t say anything to me and I haven’t started my life as yet because I have lived a sheltered life. Up to this day, I haven’t lived it up like my generation, and he is my second partner in my whole entire lifetime,” said Trishana crying.
At the last minute however, she decided to save herself and got out of the road just in time to avoid collision with a motorcycle.
Genital herpes is a very common infection. It is caused by the herpes simplex virus (HSV) and manifests itself in painful blisters on the genitals and other surrounding areas. There are two types of HSV: Type 1 and Type 2. Both types are highly contagious and can be passed easily from one person to another by direct contact. The virus can be spread through having unprotected vaginal, anal, or oral sex with someone who has been exposed.
Trishana continued home, and after many failed attempts to contact her partner, she finally met up weeks later and she told him the news.
“When I told him that the doctor said that I have herpes, he walked to the front door, and he turned around and say, ‘how could this happen? We used a condom’”.
She explained that she was also confused because they had used a condom. However, research shows that it is possible for one to contract the virus through sexual intercourse when using a condom, as the herpes virus can live outside of the area that a condom covers.
As such, at 23 years old, Trishana wants to help caution and educate other young people of the dangers surrounding sexually transmitted infection (STIs).
“I guess as young people, we struggle to find ourselves, but living with herpes is not a death sentence, and it is not going to hold you back from what you want to do. There are so many things that you can do,” Trishana said.
She explained that staying on top of medications is a must and that being educated about her disease has helped her to cope. She also implores her peers to get checked regularly, not only for HIV/AIDS but for other STIs.
*surname withheld by interviewee’s request.