Tue | Aug 11, 2020

Lady Etiquette | Hey! Mannaz an respec!

Published:Friday | December 6, 2019 | 12:00 AM
Politeness, doing acts of kindness, being gracious doesn’t put you at a disadvantage; it states that you know how to exist in a society.

Etiquette! The word etiquette sounds antiquated; something for people from another era. Hasn’t it become apparent that the same sentiments exist regarding the attitudes and actions of our everyday living? Majority of us believe that being respectful, being considerate, being honest is a thing of the past as we go about life in a manner that screams the opposite of a progressive, civilised society.

Etiquette, social graces, and protocol are so intertwined in our everyday life that it is impossible to separate them yet possible to ignore. Politeness and good manners do amazing wonders in making life more liveable. Words like ‘please’, ‘thank you’, ‘excuse me’, and ‘pardon me’ should be words in our daily interactions for all ages.

What has happened to us?

Children pass by without saying good morning. Adults don’t even respond to being greeted. Nasty adjectives are hurled at each other daily, and not to mention our mean-spirited actions even without provocation. We would rather close a door in someone’s face than hold it open for them. We seldom give preference to children, people with children, pregnant women, persons with a disability, or the elderly. If using our roadways was the only annoyance to talk about, it would be too much. We are like bullies on a playground.

It seems that somehow, there is something somewhere that tells us, “I must intimidate and browbeat” or “I won’t get ahead”. It’s like being a ruffian is the new normal. There was a time when men would allow women to go first. Now they cuss you to get out of the way!

How did we get here? When did being courteous, being deferential, become a dreaded disease? Is it too late to take a new path and get back to the days when civility meant something? I sincerely believe that it’s never too late to do the right thing.

Etiquette is not a strict set of rules that you must follow or else!


These are guidelines to becoming a better you.

Guideline No. 1 – Good manners, saying ‘please’, ‘thank you’, ‘excuse me’, ‘you’re welcome’, ‘may I help’, ‘I am sorry’, ‘Sir’, ‘Madam’ doesn’t say you are soft or sappy. It says you are well cultured or you are civilised.

Guideline No. 2 – Politeness, doing acts of kindness, being gracious doesn’t put you at a disadvantage. It means that you know how to exist in a society.

Guideline No. 3 – Self-respect, that is, you choose daily to have the expectation of honesty, consideration, and respect from others, reciprocate, and endeavour to accept or do nothing less.

Guideline No. 4 – Empathy. We see people as people and treat them how we expect to be treated.

So how does etiquette advise us to deal with our everyday little annoyances, generally speaking?

Relocate if you can. Walk away from the anger trigger. It is best to get angry by yourself as you will calm down at a faster pace than in the presence of the anger trigger.

Try not to project your anger on others as this will only cultivate more anger spaces around you that only multiply your anger emotion rather than minimise it.

Use diversional therapy on an ongoing basis – prayer, exercise, music, et cetera. This helps to produce a more relaxed mind that under duress, will make good decisions. Diversional therapy should be habitual. It heals the mind, reduces anger, and promotes better coping abilities.

Getting annoyed and angry most times leads to unwanted situations. Slow down the emotion. Think before acting. Practise the guidelines before then respond with a cool head if necessary.

Together, we can take back rudeness and discourteousness and replace it with honesty, respect, and consideration (HRC) and return civility among us.



#becomingabetteryouisalways better!


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