Gordon Robinson | “What, me worry?”

Gene Autry, The Beast and I were sitting around the domino table with Haemorrhoid waiting for a fourth.

Yes, you counted right. There were already four present but Haemorrhoid didn’t have a clue and refused to play “Domingoes.” Despite this he was never short of advice on dominoes or anything else so long as it fit one of his favourite shaggy dog tales that ran around many Mulberry Bushes before ending in shocking anti-climax at which he guffawed loudly.

We were about to give up on having a game when, off in the distance, we heard “If a macca mek it jook yu!”

The Dunce!

It was standard to hear the Dunce’s perpetual refrain long before he actually appeared because he travelled on foot and rarely knew where he’d end up. But he was clearly on Gene’s driveway heading towards us. The Beast immediately started to perspire.

“You’re NOT going to make me play with that lunatic” he pleaded.

So Haemorrhoid started a shaggy dog tale about a little girl’s prayers:

“A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. She says ‘God bless Mummy; God Bless Daddy; God bless Grandma; good bye Grandad.’ The father says, ‘Good bye Grandad? Why that?’ The daughter says, ‘Just because I felt like it.’

The next day Grandad drops dead. The father can’t believe the coincidence, but decides not to question it.

That night, he listens to the daughter’s prayers again. She says ‘God bless Mummy; God bless Daddy; goodbye Grandma.’ The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, ‘Just because I felt like it.’

The next day, Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn’t know what to do so tries to forget about it.

That night, he listens to his daughter again. She says, ‘God bless Mummy; goodbye Daddy.’

NOW the father is terrified. He goes to work the next day sweating; cancels all his meetings; and hides in his office for the whole day. He stays in the office until midnight.

He’s pleasantly surprised. ‘I’ve cheated death!’ he thinks to himself then rushes home. His wife asks, ‘Where have you been?!’ The husband says, ‘Oh don’t ask me any questions. Today’s been miserable.’ The wife replies ‘Your day’s been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch...’”

After getting up from rolling on the floor laughing, Haemorrhoid, himself a notorious worrier about “piles and piles” of files on his desk, advised The Beast not to worry because anything could happen.

I remembered Haemorrhoid’s tall tale during horrific news items detailing Israeli’s genocidal (in my opinion) over-reaction to Hamas’ October 7 incursion. International backlash, originally slow in coming, has snowballed into a torrent of condemnation including South Africa’s genocide charge at the International Court of Justice (ICJ). So far more than 1,000 popular movements, political parties, unions, etc worldwide called on countries to endorse South Africa’s case. Many, including Turkey, Jordan, Brazil, Colombia, Bolivia, Pakistan and Malaysia answered that call.

ICJ can’t give a final decision now but a narrow interim “serious-case-to-be-tried” order included a damning finding that “at least some of the acts and omissions alleged by South Africa to have been committed by Israel in Gaza appear to be capable of falling within the provisions of the Convention.”

It’s getting worse for Israel as international support even from usually staunch supporters seems to be waning. President Joe Buddy has been reportedly showing signs of increased impatience with his pal Israeli PM Benny the Bully. Three separate sources reportedly heard Joe call Benny an “A**hole.” EU so far adopts a tight-lipped “No Comment” stance on the ICJ case but signs it’s slowly gravitating towards clearer calls for Israeli restraint are abundant.

It gets wusserer. Many Polls have found Israel losing support among the world’s youth. A recent Harvard-Harris Poll found 51% of responders between the ages 18-24 feel the best possible solution to the Israel/Gaza conflict would be the end of Israel. As these young people grow up, Israel can expect an uphill battle to retain Western nations’ support. Already the non-western world is almost totally unified in condemning Israel’s actions in Gaza and many accuse Israel of genocide. The list of Israeli-unfriendly nations includes Jamaica’s friend China, Japan and much of Latin America.

Jamaica needs to urgently revisit its foreign policy on this conflict. Israel, currently practising its best Alfred E. Neuman impression, should be worried.

Peace and Love.

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com.