Basil Jarrett | Is it time to cancel International Men’s Day?

THIS YEAR’S International Men’s Day went out as it came in: with a whimper. At this point, I don’t know why we even bother to celebrate this occasion which it feels like a participation medal for everyone who wasn’t recognised on International Women’s Day. Let’s face it, International Men’s Day is nothing more than an attempt to ease our collective guilt after overindulging months earlier on International Women’s Day.

On that occasion, our timelines were flooded with graphics, hashtags, and corporate pledges of solidarity. The day itself was marked by elaborate events, glowing speeches, and proclamations from every corner of society about the invaluable contributions of women. It was a proper production – and rightly so.

BLINK AND YOU MISSED IT

But International Men’s Day? Not even close. Blink, and you missed it. No glowing tributes, no breakfast meetings, no public recognition of the contributions of our men to family, society, and national development. Just a vague acknowledgement buried somewhere in the back pages.

And maybe that’s because, as men, we’ve been made to feel as if we shouldn’t even be asking for recognition. In recent years, manhood and masculinity itself has become such a hot-button issue, that at times, we often feel like we need to apologise for being men, tiptoeing around topics of masculinity as if we’re handling a live grenade. Society tells us we’re either too hard or too soft, too absent or too controlling, too toxic or too weak. Somewhere in the mix, the essence of what it means to be a man – whatever that is – is getting lost.

PROVIDE AND PROTECT

The fact of the matter is that a man’s worth in this society is based on his ability to provide. That’s the yardstick we’re all measured by. Which sort of explains why you often hear the familiar refrain among women that “there are no good men out there”. But perhaps it’s not that there aren’t many good men out there; it’s just that there aren’t many good enough men out there. In other words, the value of a man is defined by his ability to add to or improve a woman’s lot in life and in a society where women are outdoing us academically, professionally, and socially, the pool of men who can meet those lofty standards is shrinking.

Women now get the best education, the best jobs, and the best positions, and they climb the corporate ladder faster than most men. So, by the time a woman is looking for a partner who can “step up”, there are only a handful of “good enough” men who fit the bill. And if you’re not that guy, society reminds you, in no uncertain terms, that you’re simply not good enough.

Then there’s the conundrum where, if a group of men gathers around a table to discuss what it means to be a man, traditional male values, the challenges men face, or even the societal pressures of being a provider – they risk being labelled as toxically masculine.

TOXIC MASCULINITY

Today, any conversation about reclaiming positive masculinity is often mistaken for a rallying cry to return to outdated patriarchal norms. Suddenly, you’re lumped into a box with every stereotype of the aggressive, unfeeling man who dominates and oppresses.

But here’s the irony. Society demands that men “open up”, “express emotions”, and “talk about their struggles”, yet it offers no safe space for these conversations. We’re told to redefine masculinity but aren’t given the room to explore what that might look like. And so, many of us retreat into our own worlds, figuring it out alone, while society continues to criticise us for not doing enough.

Let’s also acknowledge the glaring silence when it comes to the state of boys in this country. While women have entire movements and institutions dedicated to their empowerment – and deservedly so – our boys are left to fend for themselves. The statistics on male underachievement in education, management, and incarceration rates paint a grim picture, yet little is being done to address these issues. Instead, we get International Men’s Day – a day that’s supposed to celebrate men but ends up feeling like an afterthought. No thanks. I’ll pass.

A BROADER CONVERSATION

It’s not that we need parades or parties. What we need is a broader discourse about the realities of manhood, the struggles men face and the overall impact on society when one half the population is so badly underperforming. We need to talk about the pressures on men to provide in a world where traditional breadwinner roles are shifting. We need to address the stigma that surrounds men’s psychological health and emotional wellbeing. We need to invest in programmes for boys that teach them self-worth and give them the tools to navigate adulthood with confidence and compassion.

Perhaps an easy way to start is by renaming International Men’s Day. Why not call it something more meaningful, like ‘National Boys and Men’s Awareness Day’ or ‘Manhood Matters Day’. Something that signals its true purpose: to highlight the importance of addressing the issues faced by boys and men in a changing society. A name that sparks curiosity, starts conversations, and invites everyone – men and women – to engage in a dialogue about what it means to be a man today.

Because, honestly, if we’re just going to celebrate men with a half-hearted nod and a quick scroll past a generic social media post, then let’s cancel International Men’s Day altogether. Let’s stop pretending it’s enough to slap a date on the calendar and call it recognition. Instead, let’s focus on what really matters, that is, creating a society where boys and men feel valued, understood, and supported.

So, to all the men out there who didn’t even realise it was International Men’s Day, take heart. You aren’t alone. And maybe, just maybe, we can reimagine it into something that’s actually worth celebrating. Big man thing.

Major Basil Jarrett is a communications strategist and CEO of Artemis Consulting, a communications consulting firm specialising in crisis communications and reputation management. Visit him at www.thecrisismajor.com and send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com