‘This is for Toni’

“I finished what my daughter started.”

Those are the words of Wendy Miller, a grieving graduate of The University of the West Indies (UWI) who has dedicated her undergraduate degree to her late daughter.

Her only child, Toni Haughton, died three weeks shy of her 21st birthday in May 2017.

Haughton had received a partial scholarship to Howard University in Washington, DC, which required immunisation against tuberculosis, hepatitis C, and smallpox.

Miller recalled that her daughter was also prescribed Diane 35, a contraceptive, to regularise her periods.

“Within two weeks of receiving the shots, she developed severe jaundice and her stomach began to swell as if she was pregnant,” she recounted.

On the advice of their family doctor, Haughton discontinued the contraceptive and some blood tests were commissioned.

Based on the results, Haughton was hospitalised and, after an ultrasound, she was diagnosed with cirrhosis.

Cirrhosis is a late-stage liver disease in which healthy tissue is replaced with scar tissue and the organ is permanently damaged. Scar tissue keeps the liver from working properly.

That was July 1, 2014, the same day of her student visa appointment at the US Embassy.

“I was prepared to donate a piece of my liver for her,” her mother told The Gleaner.

Haughton left Jamaica to study, but the illness had wrecked her body so badly and she lost the scholarship after completing only a year and a semester.

“She was sicker than either of us thought. She was missing classes and did not go to the hospital where it could be registered. I could no longer afford to keep her there, so I told her to come home,” Miller said.

After returning to Jamaica, her daughter commenced an undergraduate degree in biochemistry at The UWI in September 2016.

Though she battled bravely with the illness, things took a turn for the worse and she had to be hospitalised in May 2017.

“She said, ‘Mom, whatever you are doing, I hope it works out.’ She then fell asleep knowing that I would do everything in my power to save her,” Miller said, adding that she had her passport, a packed bag, and paperwork for her to be airlifted, but doctors said she was too sick to fly.

Haughton succumbed three days later and just a week before final examinations in her second semester.

Miller said she was numb.

“To date, I have not cried. Every Friday I have a meltdown,” the mother revealed.

Three months after her daughter’s death, Miller commenced her BSc in management studies at The UWI.

“I applied before she died and we joked that mother and daughter would graduate together. When she died, it became more important to finish it.

“We did everything together and I needed to do something to keep my mind occupied so that I did not have to think about her,” Miller told The Gleaner.

Miller said there were many times when it was difficult to source the tuition fees.

She is still repaying a mortgage she had taken out to keep her daughter in university.

“When I faced this obstacle, I humbled myself and begged. I begged, no matter how small, and friends and family chipped in,” she said.

Miller also received a grant from the Government, but it was only enough to pay for a semester.

She would then borrow the tuition fee for the second semester and repay within a year.

Miller outlined that all was well with state support until she was told that she had already benefited for two years and would not be eligible for a third disbursement.

“Added to that, I failed a few courses along the way and I wanted to stop, but I said no, this is for Toni,” Miller remarked.

The 55-year-old is employed as an assistant investigator at a government entity and described the demands of her job as “exceedingly heavy”.

“Many times I felt as if I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I have had many meltdowns. They think I am fine, but they have no idea as to the loss I have suffered, through no fault of their own,” she said, sombrely.

Miller admitted that she could not have completed the degree with upper second-class honours without the support from her spouse.

She shared that her daughter told him to take care of her and he took that commitment seriously.

judana.murphy@gleanerjm.com