‘Mommy, Mommy’

When David Jureidini was born nearly 13 years ago, he met all the typical milestones for his first 18 months. But then, he suddenly stopped communicating, retreating into his own world, leaving his parents concerned and searching for answers until “a Vaseline moment” led to happy tears and screams of joy.

Phillip and Lisandra Jureidini were told time and again that “everything is OK” with their son and that “he will be alright”, but something felt off. He showed no signs of physical illness, but his mother had a gut feeling that something was wrong. When he came down with the flu, Lisandra seized the opportunity to take him to the doctor.

After a thorough examination, the doctor asked if there was anything thing else they wished to discuss.

“Yes,” the concerned mom said quickly as she began describing the dramatic changes in David’s behaviour.

“This boy is lining up, stacking things. He’s going into some of the corners between the couch and he’s staying there. ... When we come home from work, he would normally look up and run to us. We get in [now] and we’re, ‘Hi, David’, and he just looks up at us, and brings his head back down – no sign of communication. He stopped speaking, and if he wants something, he just pulls us to the area and he just stands there. And then we’re like, ‘Oh, you want water, or you want this?’ No eye contact,” Lisandra detailed, adding that the young boy also stopped using the potty properly.

MOOD SHIFTED

After hearing their description, the doctor turned to her computer and the mood in the room shifted.

“ ... Her countenance just fell and she just stopped talking to me. ... And I’m sitting there and waiting on this lady to respond to me. ... Afterwards, she looked up at me and said, ‘I need to talk to you and Daddy.’ So I said, ‘Well, I’m here. Talk to me.’ And she said, ‘No, I need you and Daddy’.”

Lisandra recalled phoning David and asking him to report to the doctor’s office immediately. The doctor then informed them that David’s development was showing signs of autism and she wanted them to act fast.

Autism?

The word hit them like a tidal wave. Lisandra’s heart sank, and she found herself asking God why. But despite the overwhelming news, she found strength in faith and prayer.

What followed was a journey of transformation – not only for David, but for the entire family. Lisandra and Phillip dove into teaching David themselves and over time, they saw him blossom. Today, he’s on the honour roll at Jamaica College – a far cry from the silent, withdrawn toddler they once knew.

“I like beautiful things,” David told The Sunday Gleaner as the family sat down for an interview just over a week ago. He proudly showed off a miniature trophy and certificate of excellence he received from Principal Wayne Robinson days before.

David, who once struggled with language comprehension, now loves English, Spanish, and the general sciences.

His mother said she initially hesitated to have him do Spanish because of his initial challenges with English.

“That was a big part of the problem earlier on – comprehending the language, whether written or oral,” she explained.

But the road to Jamaica College wasn’t easy.

After receiving the autism diagnosis, David’s parents enrolled him in school to help with socialisation, but he cried every day and struggled with the routine. The school eventually asked them to take him out, citing concerns about his lack of potty training.

They moved him to another school, where behavioural therapy and a shadow teacher helped him to adjust. The cost of daily therapy was prohibitive and they could only afford to send him once per week. With permission, Lisandra recorded the sessions and took notes to reinforce the lessons at home.

BUILDING RIGHT ENVIRONMENT

The family transformed a room in their house into a rock-climbing gym to help David build motor skills. Phillip explained that sensory integration – correcting the misalignment of senses that often accompanies autism – was key to David’s progress. Together, they role-played lessons, even painting their faces to teach art, using whatever methods they could find. They admitted to making mistakes along the way as most of what they learned was on their own and came from the Internet, with tweaks to suit their circumstances.

For Phillip, teaching David “was like building a relationship from scratch”.

David likes to travel, and so school became a “travelling experience” as lessons about rivers or butterflies became real, with family homes in the country becoming the real-life base for many lessons.

Lisandra said they had a moment of realisation when they saw an elderly couple caring for their adult son with autism, who could have been in his 40s. Everything was being done for him and she wondered if that was the future for David.

The prospect was overwhelming based on the doctor’s prognosis – she was told he would not be able to tie his shoelace.

“ ... I’m like, ‘Oh, my God. There is so much stigma. It’s almost like it’s a death sentence’,” she recalled thinking.

But the Jureidinis didn’t give up.

About 10 months after David’s diagnosis and now nearly three, something incredible happened.

Lisandra was in the kitchen when she heard a voice calling, “Mommy, Mommy.” Stunned, she rushed into the room and found David covered in Vaseline – shiny and glistening – but also communicating for the first time since he stopped speaking at 18 months.

“I went in there and I was, well, first of all, what I heard, it’s like, it’s registering that I heard ‘Mommy’ and that he called me to show what he had done,” she told T he Sunday Gleaner.

She could not contain her excitement and instantly called Phillip.

“I could barely understand because she was shouting. I had to ask her to repeat herself. But, but when I finally understood what was going on, I dropped what I was doing,” he added. “I was in a meeting and I stepped outside. I wasn’t able to leave right away, but it sent shockwaves – my hands were shaking and all that.”

FULL-TIME ROLE

After two years of working with a shadow teacher, Lisandra decided to leave her job at Scotiabank and become David’s full-time teacher.

“We had all the tools and we had the evidence. We needed to go all in. We trusted one another to do this,” she said.

Through perseverance and the right teaching methods, David learned to read, write, and comprehend language. Lisandra made sure he wasn’t placed in a special needs class, as she didn’t want him to mimic behaviour that would hold him back.

Though socialising, he was still playing by himself. As time passed, she noticed he was weak in English and comprehension and agonised over how to teach someone to understand.

A breakthrough came when she contacted the Special Needs Unit at the Ministry of Education and learned about the Lindamood-Bell teaching method – a multisensory approach to teaching children with learning disabilities, using the different senses to help them make connections between sounds, letters, and words.

However, the US$7,000 fee for the training kit almost closed the door on that process. But after careful thought, family members pitched in, and elements of the kit were purchased. She trained in the programme and began volunteering to help other parents with autistic children.

Then came the COVID-19 pandemic and teaching moved online.

During the pandemic, David took up gardening, and even started doing his laundry. He also learned the entire process of turning cocoa into chocolate – he described it with precision for The Sunday Gleaner. For his parents, it was important that he learned how to start something and take it to the completion.

David loved travelling so he could see beautiful things, such as trees. He also liked the water, especially the scene when a plane is landing. It hypnotized him in a good way, giving him a “happy feeling”. His parents recalled how his room would at times transform into an airport with various model planes.

David’s growth was remarkable and as he continued to grow, Lisandra decided to step back and re-enter the job world.

David was now getting dressed for school and could check the time. He was now attentive in class and completing his tasks. He would make his lunch as he learned how to use the microwave, make macaroni and cheese, and would help to prepare other meals as part of the development.

But after two months, Lisandra gave up her job as her heart was no longer there. Teaching had now become her passion.

By grade five, David was performing well on national assessments, and by grade six, he had a solid study routine. When he entered Jamaica College, he quickly became involved in school activities, earning a certificate of commendation in his first term and placing second in an inter-form quiz competition.

David did not make the honour roll cut for the Christmas term in first form, but his performance in the remaining two terms placed him among the top performers with averages of 80 per cent and over at the end of the year.

No longer requiring a shadow, he now completes his schoolwork independently and rarely asks for help.

The Jureidinis are encouraging parents to show up in big ways for their children, noting that the investment will pay off.

erica.virtue@gleanerjm.com