Hooked on porn

Dear Joan,

Have been a Christian for years now, but there is one area in my life that I have not managed to surrender to God as yet. The truth is I am totally hooked on porn. My wife has no idea because whenever she is asleep, I get up and go around my laptop to my usual porn sites. I get excited watching 'blue movies', I go on sites where I can find naked women, and what's worse is that I just can't seem to stop myself.

I have tried on several occasions to stop this habit, but I find myself giving in to the desires. I prayed about it, but so far, nothing is working. I just can't get the will to stop.

J.R.

Dear J.R.,

Your addiction is no different than someone who is a drug addict. You have already acknowledged that you have a problem. That's good.

Now you have to determine in your mind that you really want to get rid of it. You say you prayed, you have tried to stop, but you can't. My question is: Is it that you can't or won't?

I think that in spite of what you are saying, you really don't want to let go of this habit.

First, confess this to God and ask for His forgiveness.

Resolve in your heart that you are going to give up this salacious habit. Fight your battle one day at a time. If you have bookmarked the porn sites, start by deleting them. In fact, stay off your laptop for a while; it might prove more than you can resist not going back to those sites.

You can't do this alone. You should confide in a trusted person about your habit. If you think your wife can deal with knowing what you have been up to, then tell her and let the two of you work through it. If you have doubt about her ability to deal with such a confession, then talk to your pastor or someone you totally trust. As you open up about your problem, you will start treating it as such.

I pray you will get the strength to put this behind you.

Fall asleep when I'm reading my Bible

Dear Joan,

I am a young convert and I have been told that I should read my Bible a lot as it will help me to grow and be stronger in the Lord. The trouble, though, is whenever I take up my Bible to read, by the time I read four chapters, I can feel my eyes shutting down. No matter how hard I try, I just can't keep my focus after about two chapters.

The weird thing is that I will take up a novel, and no matter how I try to put it down, I just have to see what's on the next page! I feel so guilty about this.

Could you please tell me what I can do enjoy the Bible more.

J.K.

Dear JK,

Congrats on that step you have taken. Don't feel guilty about falling asleep when you are reading the Bible. If you talk to even more mature Christians than yourself, you will realise that they sometimes experience the same thing.

The Bible, unlike novels, is something you should read prayerfully and not rush through. Maybe you should, for now, just read a chapter at a time. Do it slowly, meditate on the passage and don't try to be analytical about it.

Another thing is maybe you should try reading the books that interest you instead of taking on the 'heavy' stuff too early.

Blessings as you keep on your Christian journey.

- Do you have an issue in the Church and need guidance? Send questions to familyandreligion@gleanerjm.com.