Doctor’s Advice | Should she take this job?

Q Doc, could you give me a good advice about a possible job in a nightclub in Florida? I am female, age 19, and most people think I am pretty. A friend told me about this real well-paid job in a Florida club which advertises what they call 'nightly gang-bangs'. Apparently, they are looking for a Jamaican girl to join their female team. I contacted them by email, and they seemed real interested in me. They would like me to come for an interview.

I know this job is something to do with sex. But I wouldn't mind that, since the money is so good. What do you think, doc? Is there any chance I could get VD?

A I beg you to have NOTHING to do with this crazy offer, lucrative though it may be. I don't think you have really understood the truth about these 'gang-bang' clubs, which have become popular in North America and elsewhere.

The general idea is that a bunch of guys (often men on stag parties) pay a lot of money for entry tickets. When they get inside a large room, they can have as much sex as they like with the girls who are 'on offer'.

I have just checked out the website of one of these Florida clubs, and it tells male 'punters' that the organisers allow 'no more than 26 men' for every four girls. That is actually 6.5 guys per woman. In practice, I think it is likely that every evening you would be 'sexed' by most of the men who were present - maybe all 26.

But it gets worse! Many of these guys feel that they are entitled to penetrate the girls in ALL orifices - in other words, the vagina, the mouth and the anus.

Under these circumstances, it is almost inevitable that you would catch a sexually-transmitted infection (STI), maybe on your very first night. Possible infections include gonorrhoea, chlamydia, syphilis, herpes and HIV.

So I do not care how much money they are offering you! Please tell them 'No way'.

Q Please, help a young couple. Can oral sex cause pregnancy?

A No, it can't.

Q I am a guy of 20, Doc. To my embarrassment, I have never been with a woman, so I am a virgin.

Now, I have met a beautiful young lady who wants to go to bed with me. Doc, I can't believe my luck! But I have no idea what you are actually supposed to do when you get inside a woman. Do I just thrust and thrust until I reach a climax?

A I wouldn't recommend that. Look, if you are really determined to go with this young lady, the most important thing of all is that you should not impregnate her - i.e. make her conceive a baby.

The second most important thing is that you should try not to risk catching anything from her. (You are most unlikely to give any infection to her since you have never had sex before.)

My recommendation is that you should buy some condoms and wear one throughout intercourse with her.

Now, you want to know whether you should just thrust and thrust until you 'discharge'. Unfortunately, that is what a lot of young guys do, but it is most unsatisfactory for the female. You may be surprised to hear that a lot of women report that their early experiences of intercourse were not too good - mainly because the guy just thrusted away very fast until he reached a real quick orgasm.

So my advice to you is to take things gently and do not rush. If you take your time, it will all be much more pleasant for this young lady.

May I say that I hope your relationship prospers.

Q My doctor has advised me to go on that Depo-Provera jab. Is it true that it makes you have terrible, terrible menses?

A No, not really. The 'shot' works very well, and once you are on it, there is very little chance of pregnancy.

However, around 40 per cent of women develop menstrual disturbances, which may last for some months. These can include:

- very heavy menses;

- totally absent menses;

- irregular bleeding - which may make it necessary to keep sanitary protection in your purse at all times.

There are other possible side effects. You should talk this over with your own doctor before agreeing to have the injection.

Q Although I am a guy, I have managed to obtain a pack of contraceptive pills.

I am meeting a wonderful girl for a date on Saturday night. Could I get her to take one of the pills and then have sex with her in complete safety?

A No! There are several reasons why what you plan is wrong:

- The Pill is a 'prescription-only' medicine, and you should not have it in your possession. I don't know how you got it.

- It is unsuitable for some women.

- It can have side effects - and a woman ought to know about these before she takes them.

- Finally, giving your lady friend one single Pill on Saturday night would not work. It is most unlikely that she would be protected.

I hope you were not intending to give this poor young woman the Pill surreptitiously - for instance, by slipping the tablet in her drink. That would clearly be against the law and you could be prosecuted for it.

My advice is that you give in this illegally obtained packet of Pills to a pharmacy. And don't just assume that on Saturday, you are going to successfully seduce that beautiful young woman.

Just try to be nice to her, get to know her, and give her a good time. Remember, she is a human being, not a target.

Q As a female of 21 years, I have still not reached an orgasm. This is really concerning to me and to my fiancÈ.

Doc, do you think it would help if I bought a vibrator?

A Quite possibly. The thing about these devices is that they do vibrate really fast - much faster than a human being's hand.

Therefore, if one of them is applied to the region of a woman's clitoris, she will certainly receive quite intense stimulation, and if the atmosphere is right and her mood is right, that stimulation may bring her to orgasm.

I feel you should talk this over carefully with your fiancÈ. But there would definitely be a case for introducing a vibrator into your lovemaking. It would also help you to talk to an experienced counsellor, nurse or midwife about your love life.

Q Doc, as a midwife, I appreciate your recent acknowledgements of the role of the midwives in Jamaica.

Many doctors think the midwife is a 'Nana', but we are well trained and well versed in obstetrics and family planning. We make an important contribution to health care in this country.

A Of course, you are! Well done, and thank you for writing.

Q Doc, I think I am a guy of only 'average' size. Do you think that women really care about how big a guy is?

A No. In general, they don't. Women are much more interested in whether a guy is kind and sensitive and skilled rather than in the size of his organ.

- Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com, and read more in the 'Outlook Magazine' tomorrow.