Pat Reid | Christmas pain and parties - Share a thought for those hurting at this special time

Christmas channels happiness, fellowship, peace, love and compassion and instils in us a spirit of generosity to share with the less fortunate.

Carolling, the lighting of Christmas trees, the exchange of gifts and partying are some of the ways Jamaicans celebrate. For some Jamaicans, it is 'Jesus is the reason for the season'.

How is it, then, that the same merry Christmas that brings cheer to many makes some of us so sad? I can relate how emotionally dreadful it can be at this most wonderful time of the year.

In Jamaica, where there are more than 300 road fatalities and more than 1,000 murders each year, it is a difficult task for some of us to truly enjoy the festivities as we frequently flash back to the loss of a loved one.

My sister died in a motor-vehicle accident in May 1995, not on any perilous road in rural Jamaica, but in the Corporate Area. The first Christmas without her was more than difficult. I was left wondering, "do I still celebrate because it is Christmas and feel guilty, or listen to those who say life must go on?"

I was president of my Jaycees chapter at that time, and I had to lead, especially as we were commemorating our silver anniversary. But nothing stopped me from sitting in my car in a shopping plaza, right under all the trees adorned with pepper lights, and bawling my eyes out before drying the tears and driving to our Christmas party.

Grief is like a thief working overtime. Grief will befriend you deceitfully, posture like your BFF, and rob your happiness. But only with your permission.

So, how do we greet the bereaved families of those who perished on our roads when that social-media video of the horrific accident that went viral keeps swirling in their heads?

Whatever you do, do not greet them with, "unoo salt fi de Christmas, een" or "somebody fi unoo from the generation way back must be did wicked."

 

MULTIPLE LOSSES SUFFERED

 

Other families have suffered multiple losses in violent and tragic situations over the year. Imagine what Christmas will be like for them. What do we say to the parents and families of those young children who were brutally murdered?

Traumatic as it may be, what better time, though, than Christmas to heal yourself by asking God to help you forgive them and help to rid you of the feeling that you could have done something to prevent it?

Emotional baggage is heavy, and don't be fooled by the advice that a change of scenery abroad will help. That mental baggage will check in faster and weigh more than the actual baggage you are checking in on an aircraft.

For this Christmas, I want to say to my 'squaddies' in the Jamaica Constabulary Force, thanks for fulfilling your mission to serve, protect and reassure us, especially those shopping at Grand Market. After all, you have families, too. Your presence at home is missed year after year.

Let me also thank our soldiers, who, along with the police, man the zones of special operation to make those volatile communities safe.

Every nurse, doctor and medical personnel walking the hospital wards deserves a merry Christmas at home with their families, but instead, they are at work because service to humanity is the best work of life.

Certainly, all emergency responders need to be applauded for their selfless contribution, particularly at this time of the year.

There is a plethora of things to lament in our lives, but yet, so many positives to be thankful for.

I have learnt that no matter how bad your situation is, there are countless others worse off than you.

In that regard, let us reach out to the underprivileged. Let us remember those who have lost loved ones, and even possessions, or those who cannot be with loved ones this Christmas.

Let us make a special effort, individually or collectively, to ensure that others experience a merry Christmas filled with love, warmth, and a sense of belonging in our society.

Indeed, 'Joy to the World', Christmas is still the most wonderful time of the year.

Merry Christmas, Jamaica! May the coming year, 2019, be our most prosperous and best year yet.

- Pat Reid is an executive assistant in the public service. Feedback:

editorial@gleanerjm.com.