New year, same resolutions - getting it right

Let's turn over a new leave

And baby let's make promises

That we can keep

And call it a New Year's resolution, hmmm

Otis Redding, Carla Thomas - New Year's Resolution

Every year, you go through the list of things you want to accomplish for the new year. No doubt, your journal already has the list for 2019 with all the resolutions you want to keep. But just as in previous years, they are never transported from the page to being implemented in your life.

Family and Religion reached out to motivational speaker and author Crystal Daye for advice on carrying through on resolutions made.

Responding on whether family members can help to motivate each other, she said they might not be able to do so as they themselves are struggling with attaining their own goals.

"I believe the best way family can support each other is by pushing them to be self-motivated. When family see you are actually fulfilling the desires set out to achieve, then they will see an example to follow," said Daye.

However, she warned that waiting on family or even friends to cheer you on might never happen, but it is always great to have a supportive system in place to carry through on resolutions made.

Examining if failure to carry through on resolutions results from making unattainable goals, Daye said it may not necessarily be so, as it calls for the person actually doing the work to make it happen.

"Statistics shows that out of 100 persons who make resolutions, only eight of those persons will actually achieve them. Why? Most people lack commitment, discipline and consistency. True success to achieving your goals will require these things," Daye pointed out.

Debunking the idea that if you desire something badly enough, it will happen, Daye stressed that even the Bible alludes to faith without works being dead.

What makes resolutions unattainable for some people, according to Daye, is their failure to do the necessary work to move from having a desire to making an effort to be disciplined to achieve what they want.

Zoning in on two main reasons why goals are unfulfilled, Daye said they choose goals based on what they hear people say or what they believe they should do, so they don't have a strong motive.

 

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO?

 

"Everybody says I want to lose weight, but truly do you want to? Or is it because it sounds good. I did that for years - 'I want to start exercising', but come on, I know I am okay with my weight. Deep down, I believe I was healthy and fine. Truly, I wasn't motivated to even act on this goal," she shared.

Daye said that that particular goal was important to others and not to her, and so it ended with her not putting any real effort into making it happen.

For those who are determined to make their goals a reality, Daye said they should keep their focus on the bigger vision.

"Ask yourself what is important to you this year and make goals to align with the bigger vision. Write down the goals, you really don't want to forget them," she said.

Another key in pushing the goal forward is making it SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, timebound).

"Outline some steps that you can make towards achieving the goals you desire and commit to them," Daye suggested.

She shared that there will be times when the goals on your heart will be bigger than your current circle - hanging with people who are discouraging and who might be stopping you from achieving your goals.

"Do a circle check to see if they are aligned to where you want to go. If not, you might end up in the 92 per cent again next year because you didn't have the courage to do what you needed to do."

familyandreligion@gleanerjm.com