Single ready to mingle
Gabrielle Walters wants partnership over relationship
Published:Sunday | November 1, 2020 | 12:17 AMTamara Bailey - Sunday Gleaner writer
Gabrielle Walters has been single for more than two years and, much like other single women, she continues to be branded as one who is single as a result of her independence.
But the 30-year-old said she is no longer fazed by comments made, as she is committed to ensuring that whoever she opens up her space to is worthy of that honour.
“I don’t feel badly about what men may say sometimes. They think that, because you are a female and you are single and you are independent, they can intimidate you so you can drop your standards. They don’t look at it from a good place. They don’t see that, if this woman is independent, then the burden is lessened on one party and she will not be dependent on a man for much, because she can stand her ground. I am all about having a partnership, not a relationship and those are two different things.”
With her last relationship lasting for almost seven years, Walters is not about having her time being wasted, and she knows exactly what she wants.
“There is no such thing as perfection, so I am not looking for a perfect man. My ideal man is one with vision, he knows what he wants, what he is about and what we can do together for our overall growth and that of the family we will create. It’s about the little things that really matter,” she says.
The service coordinator in the technology industry says being single is often looked upon as an illness, and women will start a relationship immediately after ending one because of how they have been cultured.
“I struggled with low self-esteem at one point and, because I didn’t love myself as I should, I thought being alone was a big issue and I entered a new relationship before healing properly. When this happens, you forget about caring for yourself, and if you can’t do that for yourself, how are you going to do it for anybody?”
Levelling up
Walters said she is now using her past relationship as a means to levelling up so the same mistakes she made in the past do not reoccur.
“I am not looking at what I can do differently and avoiding lowering my standards to be more accommodating. If someone values me the way how I value myself, I don’t need to drop my standards. When you are at a better place, you no longer tolerate certain things … ,” says Walters.
Communication and trust are the hallmark of any good relationship for Walters, but she believes that relationships also require a great level of understanding to facilitate the different ways of communication.
“Sometime men refuse to share, to speak up, but sometimes women fail to ask the right questions and speak up for what they want, and we assume that the man should know. That was my issue. I used to assume a lot, but I don’t want to be doing that any more.
She said both men and women must learn to face themselves and do the necessary internal work to offer what they seek.
“If you are unable to be in a relationship with yourself, or with God, there is no way you can be in a relationship with a person. You cannot be in a partnership with someone when you don’t know your worth. The more you work on yourself, the easier it will be for you to meet the ‘right’ person for you.”