Hello mi neighbour | Forgiveness is kindness in its purest form

Hello mi neighbour! Yes, you. Never seen me before? No? Oh ... sorry. Wow, you are the spitting image of my next-door neighbour … Oh, you are an only child and your parents died shortly after you were born? Sorry to hear. So how did you manage? And that was the beginning of a long and fruitful friendship between two strangers.

The discovery of their similarities almost convinced them that they were related – they were from the same parish, were familiar with certain names, and almost attended the same high school.

They found in each other the sister they never met. Yes, each of them was an only child. Along the friendship journey, their sisterly love “covered a multitude of sins”: there was ready forgiveness for the frequent mistakes, bleeps and blunders of which each was guilty, in recognition of human imperfections. And just like all good stories end, “they lived happily ever after”.

From the above scenario, it is easy to surmise that early in their friendship both parties accepted that neither of them was perfect and decided on the tool they would use to sustain a friendship that was important to each. For them it was forgiveness.

Forgiveness can lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you or making up with the person who caused the harm. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.

In this imperfect world, people will unknowingly or knowingly hurt you. Because of our fallibility we can’t always avoid what happens to us in our relationships. We may not readily know when someone is resentful or jealous of us unless they say so, which is not often the case, until something happens. And what do you do here? To become angry and resentful in return is not the best option. Forgiveness is. Forgive yourself and the offender.

Forgiving yourself is admitting that you didn’t know, didn’t understand and didn’t act appropriately under given circumstances. Self-forgiveness allows healing to replace resentment and hurt. It gets you out of the victim mode and breaks the bonds that tie you negatively to another person. You are taking an action that will add to your well-being.

Forgiving the offender doesn’t mean that you have forgotten the offence. What happened to you has happened. No need to pretend that everything is back to normal if it isn’t. And, yes it can be. To forgive someone and never choose to see them again is not necessarily a sign of bitterness. Let’s remember forgiveness does not replace mistrust.

Whenever we forgive with urgency it shortens our imprisonment to negative energies and enhances our strength and ability to make good decisions as we walk in our new freedom. The energy and emotion that we have so deeply invested elsewhere can now be channelled into our spiritual, emotional, psychological, and physical well-being.

By forgiving others we are rewarded with a reduction in anger, anxiety, depression, and undue stress which can cause elevated blood pressure and heart rate, etc. Whenever we forgive, we are better able to relate to others as part of the human experience and may even experience an impairment of our memory, thus empowering us to forget the negatives and remember only the positives.

So here’s the thing: those who apply forgiveness to their relationships live happily ever after.

Forgiveness is kindness in its purest form.

KINDLY HELP SOMEONE FROM LIST BELOW

1. Shanasha, St Andrew, taking care of elderly neighbour – prepare meals, tidy house, run errands, purchase medication – asking neighbours for help with this undertaking.

2. Neighbour, St Catherine, asking for a stove

3. Elderly neighbour – accident victim, St Catherine, needs food.

4. Unemployed neighbour, Catherine, needs help with completion of bathroom.

To help, please call Silton Townsend @ 334-8165, 884-3866, or deposit in acct # 351 044 276 NCB. Alternatively, send donations to HELLO NEIGHBOUR c/o 53 Half-Way Tree Road, Kingston 10; Paypal/credit card: email: zicron22@yahoo.com. Contact email: helloneighbour@yahoo.com. Visit hellomineighbourja.blogspot.com. Mr Townsend exclusively manages the collections and distributions mentioned in this column and is neither an employee nor agent of The Gleaner.