My Dad Story | Young fathers tell it all

Today is Father’s Day and, this evening, three young Jamaican fathers will be telling their story of fatherhood on YouTube at six o’clock. They will be glowing and gloating under the spotlight of FIMS Creative Agency, the producer of the 14-minute-six-seconds documentary. The three friends – Matthew Gayle, Javed Smith and Odane Mais – will be letting it all out in My Dad Story: What is it Like Being a Father?

Matthew Gayle, a 34-year-old married father of one child, said he took part in the project because he “liked the initiative shown by the producer and her team, to shed some light on the perspective of young fathers, zooming in on our interpretation of what it means to be a father from conception to birth”. Meeting his child for the first time was one of the most surreal moments of his life, and he was filled with “gratitude”.

“Naturally, as a married man, I knew maturity took precedence, but, after becoming a dad,, I had to readjust my lifestyle to create a wholesome environment for our child. It was an elevation into responsibility, my main aim was to ensure I was providing support to both my wife and child, especially after the labour and recovery process. I can admit that I adopted some of my father’s traits, some of which I never quite understood or appreciated as a child,” the immigration support, talent management and CEO at UPSURGE Entertainment revealed.

The music director at Worship and Faith International Fellowship also said: “With the anticipation of this particular documentary being broadcast over an international scale and given the prevalent negative portrayal of black fathers, I find the documentary to be relevant in our defence as young black fathers.”

For Odane Mais, he participated because he “saw it as a great opportunity to share my experience with the world as a new dad”. He is 27, and married, and described his journey as a dad so far as “exciting” and “interesting” at the same time.

“It is interesting in the sense that the process of how he is growing is just amazing, and I am learning to prioritise my time for both my son and my wife. I now have to put away childish things and focus my energy on what matters the most. It is my aim to instill some of the qualities my father used to raise myself and my brothers, and just ensure that I am always there for my family whenever needed,” the musical engineer/producer told The Gleaner.

The fathering experience for 28-year-old Javed Smith initially was “Hell and Powder House” with a lot of “bawling”! “It’s been a lot of trial and error and doing what feels right and ensuring that I’m as active as I can be in my child’s life … . It was a struggle emotionally at the start, many times because young babies tend to cling to their mothers more,” the married industrial engineer shared.

“It has shown where there are gaps to be addressed with my wife. It has opened me up to a love I’ve never experienced before, and then to see my child grow and develop has been amazing, and to see the friendship we’ve developed, and how much she’s grown to love me, the feeling is indescribable.”

He has participated because he thought it was “a really good initiative” and was happy to share his story because we “don’t hear from men as often as we should, especially in our own society”.

“We tend to see fatherhood as a passive job or something that can be left up to mothers, but I believe men play an important role in the growth and development of their children and even our presence is significant in aiding healthy growth. Men need to speak up, encourage each other and show others that they’re not alone in this. There is no manual for the job, but shared experiences and thoughts/feelings may help another to cope,” he continued.

The brainchild of the project is content development manager Danielle Gayle, Matthew’s wife, both of whom were the subjects of similar productions in 2020. The positive feedback was encouraging, so they decided to do it on a wider scale this time around. They were also inspired by the widely held view that young fathers were absent from their children’s life. So, Gayle said she wanted “to shed some light on those who are present”. Fundamental to the stories is the question of how fatherhood had changed their lives.

“They don’t express themselves as men, and so that’s why I called it My Dad Story. I want them to tell the world what’s happening with them. I wanted the men to tell us how their lives changed when a baby came into the picture,” Gayle explained. She also said, because they did not want to take the spotlight from the men, there was no attempt to squeeze in the voices of their spouses.

What then is the message that FIMS is conveying through this production? One of its directors of photography and chief creative officer, Johnathan Fletcher, said: “I wanted as much as possible to encourage existing fathers, probably a father who is not doing the best that he can do to step up to the plate, and it is not just young fathers who we want to encourage. We want to encourage fathers right across the board, because even a more mature father can be impressed.”