HELLO MI NEIGHBOUR | The non-negotiable roles in marriages

Hello mi neighbour! “Sometimes I wonder if people really know what dem doing when dem decide to ‘tie the knot’.

“Ah Miss Myrtle, you are not the only one wondering, mi dear.”

“Yuh wondering tuh?”

“Aright, tek yuh han’ from yuh jaw and let’s see if we can reason out this thing and try save some of them from disaster”.

Reader, don’t throw in the towel just yet.

As complicated and problematic as marriages can be at times, this institution has the potential to produce pleasures and joys way beyond the imagination. Some may ask: why then do all these niceties seem to elude most of the married people that I know? Glad yuh ask.

Those who experience the beauties, pleasures and joys unique to marriages, I would say, usually have a good grasp on the mechanics of the institution and are serious about their commitment to the marriage. They usually look before they leap and their word is their bond. Yuh si mi?

Suh hear mi now, young, restless and the rest!

· If you are entering the institution just to have some fun, figet it!

· If you are getting married because of societal or religious pressures, figet it!

· If you’re dying to get married just because you are deeply in love, figet it!

· If just because you think you’ve found the right person, or you believe that you can make your catch into Mr or Mrs right, write it off.

· If you must get married because your time clock is ticking and your conviction bans you from having a child out of wedlock, let the clock tick, my friend, let it tick …

Straight up, if our marriage is to make sense and deliver on its God-ordained purposes, we must get some things straight! First, marriage has rules: men have roles and women have roles. These roles are non-negotiable. If we get them mixed up, we will get messed up and mixed up. Here, if good sense doesn’t prevail, the outcome could be fateful.

Selfishness and stubbornness are stupidities to avoid at all times along the journey!

Ladies and gentlemen, the Giver of life has written the perfect prescription for the perfect experience in your marriage:

Wives, remember that “the husband is the head of the wife” and you must be “subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord”. No matter what the predominant views of society may be, the wife is to be in submission to her husband. She must support him as he fulfils his responsibilities as head of the household. Can hear that cynical giggle, but you can gallang. Don’t you want a productive, purposeful and pleasurable marriage?

The wife must see to it that she “respects her husband, does him good, and not evil, all the days of her life”. The wife who respects her husband notices him, regards him, honours him, prefers him, values his opinion, admires his wisdom, appreciates his commitment, and considers his needs and values, is on the right path and is in for some grand blessings. Yes!

Husbands, do you want to enjoy your marriage maximally? You must honour your wives. “You husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honour as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered”. A man should not look down on his wife because she may be weaker, but to be understanding and show her honour. “The excellent wife was blessed and praised by her husband.”

“Husbands must not take their wives for granted, but should give them the honour they deserve.” For the preservation of the union. I need not say more.

Meditate on the foregoing apply those principles and you will have a perfect marriage – I swear. Even in the midst of serious disagreements between husband and wife, they can still remain on ‘cloud nine’. Yuh doan believe mi? Just do it. The Maker will make it happen!

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Stove, bed, mattress, building materials, sewing machine, table, chairs, second-hand settee, etc.

To help, please call Silton Townsend @ 876 884-3866, or deposit in acct # 351 044 276 NCB. Alternatively, send donations to Hello Neighbour, c/o 53 Half-Way Tree Road, Kingston 10; Paypal/credit card: email: zicron22@yahoo.com. Contact email: helloneighbour@yahoo.com. Visit hellomineighbourja.blogspot.com. Townsend exclusively manages the collections and distributions mentioned in this column and is neither an employee nor agent of The Gleaner.