From test to testimony, Deandra Coates beats the system

Playing the hand she was dealt, Deandra Coates saw the cards being stacked against her as a teen and in a bid to avoid the abuse she says she faced, avoided home. Her absence, however, led to her being sent to a children’s home, where she’d spend three long years. That life-changing experience, as confusing and crushing as it was, motivated her to flourish and win at life in her adult years. Now a successful career woman and proud mom, she openly shares her testimony of struggle, perseverance, faith and determination.

“From an early age, I told myself that no matter the circumstances of [my] life, mi haffi mek it. And if I’m late, I will still reach,” the head of the sales department at ISP Finance Services told The Gleaner.

With her parents out of the picture, Coates went to live with close family as a young child but says the conditions were poor. To make it more difficult, her grandmother travelled back and forth to the States leaving Coates and her brother in what she calls less-than-ideal circumstances.

To escape her life at home, Coates began staying out late or not returning home at all. “Nobody wants to stay in a miserable and uncomfortable home, so I would stay late at school at Key Club, even though I never had permission to join. I’d stay at the bus stop or go for a joyride in the bus up and down its designated route. Then there was a time when I didn’t go home; I stayed at a guy’s house.”

Dismayed at what had been taking place, when her grandmother returned, alternative care options were explored and it was decided that the best course of action was to put Coates in a place of safety. “That’s how I ended up in the home,” she added.

CHANGES

The teen went to Glenhope Place of Safety and later The Wortley Home For Girls, spending the majority of her time at the former institution, “The system is overcrowded. This is about a hundred girls. Sometimes you don’t even have a bed to sleep on; some people have to sleep on the ground. If you have any little thing, like snacks that your people carry, no matter how you hide it, people steal your stuff. If you were a quiet person before, your personality changes to meet the circumstances you are faced with. I went in there very ‘soft’; but I had to step up and go into survival mode in order to get through [it] because they will beat and bully you.”

With feelings of disappointment looming over her at the turn of events, she confessed, “I felt bad going in. I wanted to be at home with my family. As a child, nobody wants to be in a situation like this. All I desired was to feel wanted and loved.”

Leaving high school with two subjects: religious education and office administration, Coates went back to the then Child Development Agency to see if they could assist her in attaining other subjects. “The agency sent me to evening classes and I got English and principles of business.”

Since becoming an adult, Coates has climbed the career ladder to become the head of the sales department at ISP Finance Services, a company she has been working at for four years now. Between working and going to school, it took her seven years, but she acquired her bachelor of education degree, with a specialisation in business and computer studies from the University of Technology.

The proud wife and mother shares that her son is not only her pride and joy, but her reason to remain strong and resilient. “I told myself at the end of the day, I can’t quit, because I have a son who is looking up to me and I want to set an example for him and for others, showing them that you can rise above and achieve your goals.”

She continued, “You don’t see enough of this type of representation with persons who have gone through the system and come out successful. I struggled to find it too. So I’m happy to educate others in any way I can.”

PAYING IT FORWARD

Coates, who goes by the name The Opinionated Chic on YouTube, is also an active member of her church, teaching Bible studies to young ones on Sunday. She has since reunited with her father, building a relationship with him. The 30-year-old also made mention of an incredible woman who played an instrumental role in [her] upbringing and has been there for her, even visiting her at the children’s home. The two share a unique mother-daughter bond, “We are very close. We live [within] walking distance [of] each other. You would think she is my blood mother. The support I have gotten from her and my family is incredible.”

As far as paying it forward is concerned, she has organised with her church to do treats [at] a children’s home, because she recalled that wonderful feeling when others showed up in any capacity they could and prayed. Giving back is something that she hopes to do on an even bigger scale in the future.

krysta.anderson@gleanerjm.com