Sean Major-Campbell | Mind your own damn business

“Mind your own damn business.” These are the welcome words of Tim Walz to the energised crowd receiving him as he is presented by Kamala Harris on the campaign trail. What are your thoughts on MYODB?

Context is so important when one considers the meaning of words, phrases, and comments. On the lighter side of things, one does get the place of minding one’s own business. There is however a place for seriously interrogating what this means. Are there pros and cons?

“Mind your own damn business” can be problematic if it leads to a selfish world. What happens when someone hears someone being abused and suffering violence from an intimate partner? Is it okay to just say, “Mi nuh bizniz iinna man an uman biszniz” et cetera? What if you suspect that a child is being molested? What if you know that pastor, don, teacher, or anyone else is sexually abusing a child or even adult?

Whenever we have reason to believe that some person or animal or even the wider environment is being abused, we have a duty to make it our business. When your neighbourhood is being turned into a garage you should make it your business. Whenever the government is failing at good governance and whatever promotes human flourishing and environmental protections, then it is everybody’s responsibility to make it their damn business.

Is there a time though when we should mind our own business? Some church people can be very “faas” and need to be put in their place. Over the years in ministry, I have encountered some people who if given a chance will live your life for you. Sometimes they have good intentions and mean well. However, there is a challenge to be acknowledged and called out.

There are questions which some church people ask others which are so off putting and out of place. When are you getting married? Is your daughter/son married yet? So, when are you going to start having children? Don’t you think it is time that you get a son/daughter now?

DEVELOPING OUR BEST SELVES

Then some churches are filled with people who preface every piece of “faasnis” with something they were “shown by the spirit”. “The spirit told me that you are going to get married next year.” “I got a vision that you are going to get a nice husband/wife.” “A dream that you had a baby.” “I saw you eating wedding cake.”

How does it become your business to dictate that a couple must hurry and get married? Are you as concerned about love and faithfulness in relationships? And what if someone believes that it is best to live alone and even raise their child or children alone? How does it become your business who another person loves? How is someone else’s choice of religion an agenda item for your anger? And why are you so taken up with advising women on how they are to be dressed for church?

A lay reader once had the temerity to bring my attention a young lady in church one morning. This was many years ago. He brought me to the back pew where she was sitting in her cool and comfortable summer wear. He rubbed her shoulders as he pointed out her spaghetti straps saying, “Father, I had to ask this lovely young lady – what if Father wanted to ask you to read a lesson in church this morning? You realise he could not do it because of how you are dressed?” The stunned gentleman resigned to reality as I responded, “Oh, I already asked her if she would read, and she has kindly consented to do so.”

May we spend more time on developing our best selves. Spend more time walking deeper into our identity. Spend more time going deeper into meaning, purpose, holy other, divinity, and the universe within and without. Maybe, just maybe if we understand that we are all connected and that we all need each other, we would appreciate that in MYODB, we are all minding our own business together.

This week may we realise some more that care and respect for others is also care and respect for ourselves.

Fr Sean Major-Campbell is an Anglican priest and advocate for human dignity and human rights. Send feedback to seanmajorcampbell@yahoo.com or columns@gleanerjm.com