Help Doc: My Penis is curved

Q Doc, I have a big concern. My girlfriend and I love each other very much. Everything is OK, except for one thing - whenever we are having sex, I lose my erection, in the middle of the action! This can be frustrating,

Also, because of my curvature, we are restricted in some positions. So I try to enter her from behind, but sometimes it won't go in, and then I lose my erection.

I don't know if it is a 'nerves' problem? Or perhaps I need something to help me relax.

I am not overweight, and I don't smoke. I only drink occasionally. I really need some help.

A Sorry to hear about all this. Seems like there are two problems here. First, you are having some kind of erectile dysfunction (ED); and second, you have a curvature of the penis.

Let's deal with the ED first. You don't say how old you are, but this doesn't sound to me like 'young man's nerves'.

So I think we have to consider whether you have developed some physical illness like diabetes. Therefore, you really must go and see a doctor as soon as you can, to have a full physical check-up.

Now let us turn to the question of your curvature. In fact, all men have a little bit of a curve in the penis. But it is important to find out if you have anything more serious which is making you badly 'bent'.

My first thought is that you may perhaps have a disorder called 'Peyronie's disease'. A doctor will need to check your organ, in order to see if there are any signs of this.

Also, if you have a mobile phone you should take a picture of your erection and bring it to the consultation. This will give the doctor a good indication of whether you really do have Peyronie's disease or not.

It may be that you don't have any serious amount of curvature. But if it is severe, you will be sent to a urologist, who will advise you whether you need an operation.

I hope things work out well for you and your partner. Now please make that appointment with the doctor.

I need lubrication

Q My male partner and I have been together for three years. The first time we had sex, I was fully lubricated, so it was easy for us to enjoy it.

But recently, I notice than whenever we want to have intercourse, I take a longer time to get wet. This can be very frustrating for both of us!

Can you tell me what maybe the problem? Is there some medication that would make me get wet easily so that my partner and I can have sex?

A Unfortunately, there is no medication that will make a woman produce more lubrication. However, if you are over the age of 35, it is possible that your female hormone levels are starting decrease. That can lead to vaginal dryness, and discomfort during sex. However, dryness is not usually a big problem until around age 55.

If you do have slightly low hormone levels, it would be easy for a doctor to prescribe a vaginal cream that contains female hormones. That cream usually puts everything right after a few weeks, so that the woman is once again producing adequate fluid.

But I must point out that your problem may not be hormonal at all, especially if you are still quite young. So why are you not producing enough fluid?

Well, vaginal fluid flow is mainly linked to:

- Being sexually excited;

- Feeling relaxed;

- Feeling romantic.

Now it often happens that after a couple have been together for a few years, a certain amount of excitement, relaxation and romance seems to go out of the relationship.

Is this the case with you? Maybe. Certainly, it would be a good idea if you and your partner try to take more time over your bedtime 'encounters,' and make the setting as relaxed and romantic as possible. Also, your partner should make an effort to engage you in adequate foreplay before you start to have intercourse. I would recommend that he caresses you for at least 20 minutes, in order to get those 'love juices' flowing.

Finally, could I draw your attention to the fact that because so many couples have the same problems as you do, many brands of 'sex lubricants' have been developed. You will find that pharmacies sell popular brands such as K-Y Jelly, Astroglide, and Liquid Sylk. Alternatively, if you type the words 'sex lubricants' into Google, you will be offered over a million websites which sell various other brands of these useful products.

Early menopause

Q I am 35, and have not seen my menses for two months. Could this be the start of the menopause?

A Very unlikely. Do a pregnancy test-if that is negative, see your doctor for a check-up.

I want a longer penis

Q I am a 26 year old male, and I am not satisfied with the length of my penis. It is under five inches in length when erected.

Do male enlargement pills work? And which would you recommend?

A I do not recommend any of them. They are just ridiculous. There is no pill that will make a penis longer or bigger. All these tablets do is to make money for the people who sell them.

Your length is actually not all that far below average. What I recommend is that you go and see a doctor and ask him to check you out. Ask him if he thinks you are normal or not.

How long should intercourse last?

Q Doctor, how long should intercourse last? My wife and I are in our early 30s, and I very satisfied if it just goes on for five minutes.

However, she thinks that sex should continue for 10 minutes! Who is right?

A There is no absolute 'right' or 'wrong' about this. Please note that very often, women want to have sex longer than men do.

A recent survey by Canadian and American sex therapists found that the average length of intercourse was between three and seven minutes. However, other studies have claimed that it is around six to 16 minutes.

Also, some research have suggested that many women would prefer it to last for half an hour. That may be a little optimistic, given the fact that so many men can't control themselves for that long.

However, the important thing is to make sure that sex lasts long enough for both of you to be happy. If your wife would like 10 minutes, then you should do your best to give her that.

And if you can't help climaxing sooner than she would like, remember that you can always satisfy her with 'love play' caresses.