Dear Doc | I hate giving my wife oral sex
Published:Monday | January 29, 2018 | 12:00 AM
Q I am having a very serious problem. My wife and I are in our mid 40s, and we have two teenage sons. Things were quite OK in the sex department, until my wife asked me to give her oral sex.
My friends say that a lot of men are doing it, so I tried it. Honestly, I do not like the taste, the slime or the smell, but she gets very turned on when I do it and she enjoys it a lot.
I do not want to continue, but I do not want to hurt her feelings.
One night, I was going down on her and the smell almost knocked me out. The smell was like a dead animal and I almost threw up. I had to smoke a cigarette afterwards. That is when I draw the line. I cannot continue. Why do women enjoy oral sex so much? Why does it have to smell so bad?
A Sorry to hear about your distress. Many women enjoy oral sex for the same reason men do - because is it can be intensely pleasurable, particularly for women as they get more stimulation of the clitoris than with penetrative sex.
Healthy vaginas/vulvas have a musky odour produced by hormones and special glands in the skin. This is not usually unpleasant, unless an infection is present, so your wife should seek medical attention urgently. The slime you speak of is the natural lubrication which prevents the vulva from becoming too dry or sticking together which can create cracks and bruises which may lead to infections. This lubrication increases and becomes thickened when the woman is sexually aroused, and serves to allow the penis to glide easier into the vagina, so men need to bear these facts in mind.
Have a frank discussion with your wife about your discomfort; after many years of a good marriage this problem should not be too hard handle.
Recurring infection
Q Doc, I am a 31-year-old male, and about two months ago I caught a sexually transmitted infection (STI) for which I was treated on three different occasions with two different medications. But as soon as the medication is finished the infection comes back. What could really be the cause for this? What do I need to do?
A This situation can arise if you are having unprotected sex with an infected person while on medication, or between treatments. There is also the possibility that the infection you have is not susceptible to the medication you were given.
What should you do? Visit your healthcare provider for a blood test (which should include HIV) and genital swab test. These will give a clearer picture and enable focused treatment. You should also not engage in any kind of sexual activity until after the problem is solved. This reduces the chance of re infection, and passing it on to others. All the best!
How long does a contraceptive take to start working?
Q Doc, I would like to have sex with my boyfriend. How long before should I start taking contraceptive pills?
A This depends on the type of pills and the stage at which you are in your menstrual cycle. There are basically two types of pills:
• Combination (oestrogen and progesterone hormone)
• Progesterone only (mini pill)
The combination pill is usually started on the first day (not later than the first five days) of your period. When used in this way, it protects against pregnancy immediately. They can also be started at any time during the menstrual cycle, but you have to wait at least seven days before having sex in order to prevent pregnancy.
The mini pill can be started at any time during the cycle, but takes about two days to become effective so you need to take them at least two days before having intercourse. Please bear in mind that the above is true only if you take the pills every day at around the same time. Don't forget that the pills do not provide protection from sexually transmitted infections including HIV.
Why do they give me routine flu shots?
Q Doc, I am a 67-year-old woman with diabetes. I am on insulin and my blood sugar is doing OK. The thing is, I go to the USA every six months, and there I do my check-up every year along with taking a flu shot. Lately, I am hearing that the flu shot is not so good to get. Is this true? Then why do they give it to us every year?
A Most developed countries routinely offer flu (influenza) vaccines on an annual basis. Diabetics (from age six months to age 65 who are not acutely ill, are recommended to have the vaccine. This is so regardless of their level of blood sugar control. Diabetics over age 65 are given a different form of the flu shot which lasts longer in their system and hence offers extended protection. Most developing countries presently do not offer this vaccine routinely, and it is usually only available in a few private medical facilities.
The emphasis on the flu shot for diabetics is based on the fact that they are more at risk of complications like pneumonia, bronchitis, sinusitis, even death. The blood sugar levels are more difficult to control if they get the flu, and can lead to severe metabolic issues which may require ICU (intensive care unit) admission to prevent death.
The drawback is that there are numerous strains of the flu virus which changes form all the time, so the vaccine has to be reformulated every year. The vaccine (shot) cannot cover every variety of the virus, so one can still get the flu despite being vaccinated. But, many of these cases are shown to have a milder form of the flu with less compilations due to some cross protection.
The side effects (low-grade fever, muscle aches, soreness at injection site) are mild compared with having the flu and it's complications.
Lump in my testicle
Q I am a 22-year-old male. I am not a virgin, but I haven't been active for months. I recently noticed a small lump in my testicle. It can be moved around but it is not painful. Sometimes I can't feel it. Secondly, whenever my girlfriend sucks on my neck or nipples she complains of the areas having a bitter taste. What could be the reasons for these occurrences?
A The testicles are the egg-shaped solid masses hanging below the penis. They are contained in a loose bag of skin called the scrotal sac. It is highly likely that the lump you feel is in this sac and not the testicle. The fact that it is not felt all the time, suggests that it is cystic in nature, and an ultrasound would be helpful in determining the exact cause.
During sexual stimulation, hormones are secreted through the skin, these mix with your sweat/oil, and can cause a bitter taste. The severity of this is affected by a high fat or protein diet and some types of medication.