Sunday Sauce: To enquire or not

Oxy Moron, Contributor

I am no wrongdoer, but there I was telling a perfect stranger that I am. To impress him and to massage my ego, I told him about my exploits, imaginary though they may be. Then to prove I am for real, I went to commit a certain act, only to get caught on camera. I, Oxy Moron, who should have known better, I who have so much to lose, I the conscious one. Now, my fans are saying I was set up, entrapped if you will. They are conjuring up all sorts of conspiracy theories to prove my innocence. Behind bars I am now lingering. However, I am asking you, my beloved fans, not to relent until a commission of enquiry is convened to find out if I am stupid.

So, the cats and dogs in Tivoli, August Town, Grants Pen, Newlands and Gregory Park are to be neutered and spayed. This has angered Mrs Public. She is not pleased with the initiative since the rats that are more pesky than the cats and dogs are not targeted. The dogs and cats, she claims, are vital to these communities - the dogs to eat the decomposing food in the garbage that lines the streets, and the cats to eat the rats. Moreover, she believes it is the two-legged creatures who go around producing children whom they cannot take care of who must be rendered sterile. She is sick and tired of seeing fatherless and motherless children, especially boys, roaming the streets night and day. Now, she is calling for a commission of enquiry.

wcc frustration

And World Cup Cricket is back, and so are the memories of 2007, for the disaster that it was. The people of Kingston and St Andrew were told that tourists would be overrunning their communities, so they all made big plans, throwing their children out of their rooms, turning them into lodging, and borrowed money to buy stocks for their stalls and shops. But for some reason, the visitors bypassed our ports of call. After the colourful opening ceremony at the Trelawny Multi-purpose Complex, boredom and frustration set in. The only excitement generated was by the mysterious death of a coach in a hotel room, and the subsequent coroner's inquest.

Now, there is controversy surrounding missing grass at the Trelawny complex. Things do have a way of disappearing in Trelawny. Remember the theft of the beach? But the grass I heard was eaten by goats, and not trampled on by the patrons at Jazz and Blues. A commission of enquiry is also in order for this one.