Sister trapped by a player
Published:Tuesday | July 19, 2011 | 12:00 AM
Q. I have a 28-year-old sister who was once was engaged to the father of her two children.
It has been a long relationship but I don't see the sense for her to be in it.
She said they are no longer living together due to his lifestyle. He has been in numerous other relationships which she knows about. I don't know why she does not move on.
She is now staying with this man's sister, while one of his women is living with him. Another lives with his mother.
He wants my sister to be friends with these girls and to go out with them. I see this as crazy. He complains that my sister's belly is not flat anymore and that she is out of shape, yet he still wants to know when she is leaving her house and where she is going.
He even told her he is building a house and the girls are helping him and he wants her to play her part. He said he doesn't promise that any of them will be staying there in the future.
I need some advice for her as she is planning on going at my mother's house to collect her stuff and move to this man's place with the other girls. I don't know what else to tell her for her to understand herself and to see that her heart will be broken more than it is now.
My sister told me her child's father had told her to get another man because, even if she is there at the house, she cannot stop the girls from visiting.
I need your advice please.
A. It is good you are still concerned about your sister. It is possible she stays with the father of her children for the children's sake. As outrageous as it appears, she is probably going back in an unhealthy relationship with unacceptable conditions because of the children. Obviously, she wants a father figure around her children for their nurture and development. Assuming that is the reason, you need to remind her that a poor father figure can be even more destructive than an absentee father. He could be establishing a bad example for the children about the role and function of a father. He may influence them on how to mistreat women.
Additionally, the father of your sister's children is getting support from his family. He is being encouraged in his behaviour.
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