DOCTOR'S ADVICE; Alcohol and my sex life

Q Doctor, would giving up alcohol improve my sex life? I have always liked to have a drink, although I never get drunk. I am pretty fit for a 35-year-old man, though I must admit that I am a little overweight.

Unfortunately, in the last year or so my virility has been 'failing', and my wife is starting to complain. She thinks I do not love her, and that I no longer find her desirable.

That is not true.

I went to my doctor last week, and he told me that I was drinking too much. So I agreed to cut it down.

But will this help me get my 'nature' back?

A Well, alcohol tends to be the enemy of virility. That is why a lot of heavy drinkers eventually 'lose their nature'.

Your best chance of getting your potency back is to give up alcohol altogether. I cannot guarantee that this will cure you, but it should help. I note that you are overweight, and so I must point out that losing some weight may also help you.

If the above measures do not work, please consult your doctor about trying Viagra or some similar treatment. There are now several pills available.

Finally, you really must talk to your wife about this problem. It is crazy that she thinks you have lost interest in her, or that you no longer love her. You must assure her that this is simply not true!

Q Twelve months ago, I passed through menopause, and my periods stopped. But a few weeks ago, I started seeing my menses again.

This seems odd to me, so I went to my doctor. She examined me, and then warned me that I might have something called endometrial cancer. So she is arranging some tests, and for me to see a gynaecologist.

But what is endometrial cancer?

A Unfortunately, endometrial cancer is common. It is actually cancer of the womb, or to be more precise, of the lining of the womb. It is not the same thing as cancer of the cervix.

One of the most common symptom is bleeding - especially bleeding after menopause.

Any woman who gets unexplained bleeding should consult a doctor immediately, and that is particularly important after the age of 45.

You will now need to take some urgent tests to find out if you really do have endometrial cancer. You may need a special kind of scan called a 'trans-vaginal ultrasound'.

If you do have this cancer, then I expect that the gynaecologist will operate as soon as possible, in order to remove it. Do not worry, because there is every chance that your life will be saved.

Q Doctor, I am a man who travels a lot in my work, and I have noticed a strange thing. When I am living at my home in Kingston, I do not need to get up to urinate during the night.

But when I go to Canada on business, I usually have to get up twice in the night. I found the same thing on a trip to England. Recently, my wife and I spent a weekend in the mountains near Newcastle. While we were there, I had to get up and urinate around two to three times each night.

I suppose I may have prostate problems. But why do I have to wake up and urinate when I am in some parts of the world, but not in others?

A The answer is quite simple. Kingston is, of course, a pretty hot place. So when people are living in the Corporate Area, they perspire a lot, often without realising it. Therefore, they lose a great deal of fluid from their bodies.

The result is that they do not need to get rid of a lot of fluid in their urine. However, when you go up into the Blue Mountains, it is colder, so you do not perspire so much. Because of this, you need to get rid of more fluid from your body in the form of urine. Thus, you have to get up at night to visit the toilet.

The same is true when you visit cooler countries like Canada and England. You perspire less, so your body produces more urine.

From what you say, it is possible that you have a mild prostate enlargement. Please check with your own doctor about this.

Q I have to take an operation called a 'D & C'. What is that? And will I be able to have sex afterwards?

A Well, this used to be a very common procedure, though it is not done so frequently now.

The letters 'D & C' stand for 'dilatation and curettage'. The word 'dilatation' means widening of the woman's cervix, so that an instrument can be pushed through it, and into the womb. And the word 'curettage' means scraping out the womb.

Yes, you will be able to have sex afterwards. But I feel you should postpone intercourse for a month, because there is a very slight risk that your partner's organ could introduce infection into your newly scraped womb.

Q Don't laugh at me, doctor, but I feel that whenever my fiancée and I are having sex, I cannot push as deeply into her as I would like to.

Is it true that a man can buy some sort of 'penis extension', as I have heard?

A There is something very basic in the male 'psyche' which makes him want to penetrate as deeply as possible. That psychological drive has probably helped the human race survive, because deep penetration certainly increases the chances of conceiving a child.

However, I suspect that you are worrying unnecessarily. If your organ is around six inches (roughly 15 cm) long when erect, you do not need to achieve any deeper penetration.

Nevertheless, it is possible to buy a penile extension. Just type those two words into Google, and you will see many brands. They are quite expensive, and I must warn you that they are very liable to fall off during sex.

Also, please bear in mind that your fiancée may not like the idea of you using an extension. It might simply be uncomfortable for her.

Q Due to a terrible acid accident, I have lost part of one of my labia.

Could plastic surgery make me look normal again, doctor?

A Most definitely. I would suggest that you begin by consulting a gynaecologist, because they are the experts in surgery on the labia. Good luck.

Q I am a 43-year-old man and while I am still pretty virile, there are nights when I can make love to my girlfriend three times, over a period of maybe four to five hours.

But would this do my body, or my heart, any harm?

A: None at all. You are unusual in being able to have sex three times for the night at age 43. But it is certainly not bad for your health.

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