So ungodly

Jason Stephenson, Contributor

The church sermon had reached its peak. The organist hammered the organ keys, jumping in praise and worship as the pastor preached the Gospel to the congregation. The church was packed to capacity. Shouts of "Praise God!" and "Hallelujah!" exploded from the multitude. Some got 'into the spirit', others kept themselves cool with their little lace fans nodding in approval at any and everything the pastor bellowed at them.

"Thank you Jesus!" cried Sister Jessop, waving her Bible in the air towards the pulpit. "Thank you fada God. Leh-yola-ma-tun-da!" She twitched in her seat as the Holy Spirit touched her. A woman in a bright red dress sat down beside her before taking out her hymn book.

"A wha mek you just a come church, Sister Pringle?" asked Sister Jessop. "You nuh see seh service start long time?" The woman leaned in closer to Sister Jessop.

"Mi sis," she said. "Me have a piece a drama fi tell yuh."

Sister Jessop skimmed a bit closer to her church sister, looking around to make sure the coast was clear from wandering eyes. "Is wha happen?" she whispered.

"Nuh the one name Deacon Green, mi dear. Mi hear seh him wife catch him wid ooman Friday gone!"

"A lie yuh a tell!" gasped Sister Jessop.

"True, true. Praise the Lord!" shouted Sister Pringle waving her hand in worship.

Sister Jessop glimpsed up at the stage where the deacon sat beside his wife. Now that she was paying closer attention, she realised that she didn't look very pleased with him. She could see the wrath in Sister Green's eyes, fidgeting with her fingers, looking in every other direction but at the deacon.

"Mi hear seh him buy her criss cyar since Friday fi mek har stay wid him! You neva see it park up outside mi sis?"

"Naw," said Sister Jessop, stretching her neck to look into the parking lot.

"Yes, mi dear, a di criss BMW

park up outside."

"So a which part Deacon get money fi buy dat?" Meanwhile, the collection plate was being passed along the benches.

"Whe you think?" said Sister Pringle, stuffing her fingers into her blouse to take out some cash.

Shortly after church was over and the congregation began to disperse, the two women stood side by side in the church yard. "Brother Leslie," shouted Sister Jessop, giving him a big hug and kiss. "How you do?"

"All is well Sister Jessop! The Lord is good to me. Pray for me!"

"Okay, dear," she said waving good bye before tilting over to Sister Pringle. "You know seh him daughter a do drugs, right?"

"A lie!" gasped Sister Pringle.

"You neva hear bout the big big drug bus' rouna Lampfield Road?" "Sister Shepard, how is every-thing?" said a church sister passing by the two women.

"She couldn't brush har hair?" spat Sister Pringle.

"You know seh a false hair she have in right?"

"But, of course. A try fool people bout she mix wid Indian. Indian which part?" scoffed Sister Jessop.

"Mussi in her foot!" The two church sisters reeled with some vulgar laughter in the midst of the church yard, chattering and gossiping about any and everybody they came across.

"Which part she get dat deh old frock deh mi sis?"

"Look pon her long nails dem - so ungodly!"

"Mi hear seh him son, di one uppa foreign, funny."

"Yes, mi dear, she visit obeah woman pon a regulah."

"Har daughter chat to har any ole way she feel like."

"Him breat' 'tink you see! Lord Jesus!"

All of a sudden, an old blue pickup truck pulled into the churchyard making a big ruckus. It stopped beside Sister Jessop and a husky man leaned out. "You ready?" he asked.

"Mi a come," She turned to her sister. "You want a ride, Sister Pringle? Mi can drive pass your road enuh."

"Naw man," said Sister Pringle eyeing the truck up and down. "Trevor soon come pick me up. See you next week."

"Okay dear, go with God!" said Sister Jessop, as she climbed into the vehicle and immediately began telling her husband about all the scandal she had learned for the day. By the time the pickup had reversed and sped out of the churchyard, Sister Harper marched over to Sister Pringle.

"How you do, dear?" she asked.

"I'm well, Sister Harper, keeping my trust in the Lord."

"Amen, sister!" said Sister Harper. "But tell me something, Sister Jessop sort out the likkle problem she was having up a bank fi get di loan?"

Sister Pringle was perplexed. "Loan, which loan?"

"Yuh neva hear seh Sister Jessop house almost foreclose wah day?" She neva tell you? Mi swear seh you and har a fren."

"A lie!" whispered Sister Pringle. "Me cyaa believe she nuh tell me!"

"Yes, mi dear, it a gwan bout three months now!"

"So how Sister Jessop get inna dat kinda problem deh?"

"Dem lay off har husband!"

Sister Pringle was shocked, but not too shocked to pull away. "Mi naw chat nuhbody business enuh," whispered Sister Harper. "But, me hear seh ... ."

Sister Pringle and Sister Harper stood fixed in the churchyard for the remainder of the morning, engaged in full banter and scandal.

Meanwhile, Sister Jessop was having a vexed conversation of her own as her husband drove up.

"You know seh Brother Edmond tell me say Sister Pringle ago do surgery pon her sick foot and all now she nuh tell me," grumbled Sister Jessop. "Brother Edmond tell me bout three Sunday now and see it deh, up till now she nuh tell me nutten. A mussi big secret fi she and her friend dem. Mek she gwan you hear. Mi nuh need her."

"Marsha stop with the gossip now nuh man!" hissed her husband.

"Naw," said Sister Jessop. "She is a wicked woman, but the Lord will deal with her ungodliness. You watch. The Lord will deal with her."