A mother's regret - Broken-hearted woman pines for child she gave up

Gary Spaulding, Senior Gleaner Writer

Judy-Ann Bradshaw wanted just one present last Christmas, to see her 22-year-old daughter she had given up for adoption at birth. Bradshaw has seen the child once since the adoption. At that time, the child was a bubbly seven-year-old.

She is the only child of the now 41-year-old, as other pregnancies have ended in miscarriage.

Bradshaw said her life was shattered when she got pregnant at 19 years old and was forced by her family to give up her newborn baby for adoption without setting eyes on her.

Twenty-two years later, Bradshaw shared that her heart has refused to heal. She is desperate to see the child she last saw 15 years ago.

Bradshaw told The Sunday Gleaner that she recently spoke with the child's adoptive mother, who informed her that the now young adult returned from the United States where she resides, to be in Jamaica for the Christmas holidays.

According to Bradshaw, she was a student at the University of the West Indies, majoring in English, when she found out that she was pregnant, and was left with no option but to give the baby up for adoption.

The baby's father, she claimed, had fled from a rather severe verbal attack that was unleashed by her family members.

"He was scandalised," she declared.

Without a job, she was "forced" to give the newborn baby up for adoption. "I was told in no uncertain terms to give up my child, by my mother who was the sole breadwinner," Bradshaw said.

"It was embarrassing for my family and I was made to feel embarrassed. When I had her my whole life changed ... I saw the world in a different light as my entire outlook changed as it relates to children. I just wanted to protect every child," she added.

Child renamed

Bradshaw said she named her daughter Davide Deja Anique Bradshaw after she was born on April 15, 1991, but had to give the baby up for adoption immediately. She said the adopted parents renamed the child.

According to Bradshaw, after she gave the baby up for adoption she returned to university, but instead of pursuing her degree in English, she turned to law where she was successful in her pursuits.

But through it all, Bradshaw said her baby constantly occupied much of her thoughts, to the point where she is now preoccupied with finding her.

That preoccupation, she admitted, turned into obsession, and in her search, years ago, she was "assisted" by someone with access to the adoption records that enabled her to meet the little girl at age seven.

"I took the initiative to call them," Bradshaw recalled.

"From then, we struck up a relationship of sorts and I was patient, as I thought that they would allow my daughter to see me," she said.

"I used to call them from time to time and they used to accept my calls. I thought getting to know me would have made a difference."

But this was not to be. Bradshaw said the child's adoptive mother claimed that she was not yet ready to see her biological mother.

"It was for that reason that I stopped calling as I was punishing myself,' she said.

Bradshaw said the adoptive father, who has been divorced from the adoptive mother, has been more cooperative. "He told me that he has approached his ex-wife, but to no avail," said Bradshaw.

Added Bradshaw: "I don't pose any real competition to her, I really don't pose a problem, I don't want anything, I want just want to see my daughter ... . It's my heart that needs healing. I did not know about a broken heart until I gave up my daughter."