First-time moms speak out
Published:Sunday | May 17, 2020 | 9:00 AMShanna Kaye Monteith - Sunday Gleaner Writer
Simply put, motherhood is a beautiful thing. As one person puts it, all love begins and ends there. And though many who have had the opportunity to experience the beloved state boldly admit that it’s not always roses, the bottom line remains that maternity is an unmatched experience.
Best to testify to the joys, perils, and surprises of maternal parenthood are first-time mothers.
Family & Religion caught up with Ashleigh-Ann Mowatt, who mothers the beautiful three-month-old baby girl Makeda, and Shamara Allen, mother of the precious one-year-old Israel.
Meet the babies
Ashleigh-Ann: Makeda has a big personality! She loves to watch her parents sing and dance, and sometimes she joins in with us (kicks and wiggles and a lot of baby talk). She’s the first child for both her parents and the first grandbaby for her two grandmothers and her mother’s father.
Shamara: Israel is an exceptional little human who’s putting biology to shame by achieving milestones before what the books say. He’s an explorer and loves to test things for himself. He’s also the sweetest little human who greets everyone with a smile and a “hey”.
What are some of the joys of motherhood?
Ashleigh-Ann: I think one of the joys of being a first-time mom is listening to my baby laugh. Hello! She pop big-woman laugh when she ready! Sometimes her father and I catch it on video, sometimes we just watch in amusement and laugh along. I also enjoy playing with her and singing to her. I’m not a singer, but she makes me feel as if I could be cast for the next season of ‘The Voice’ when she looks up at me and smiles.
Shamara: One of the joys of being a mother, especially a first-time mom, is to witness milestones. To see him pop his first two teeth at four months, hear him say “dada”, “mama”, and “cheese” by seven months … . It gives me joy whenever he achieves a new milestone way before what biologists say.
What would you say has been the most challenging part of being a first-time mom?
Ashleigh-Ann: Understanding what each cry means. She’s generally a peaceful baby, but whenever she bursts out crying, I sometimes feel like crying when I can’t figure out what’s wrong. I’m getting better each day as I continue learning what makes her miserable and happy.
Shamara: Not knowing that it would require so much energy. I’m up 24/7 attending to him and still have to find time to tend to my job and family matters.
What are some common misconceptions about motherhood?
Ashleigh-Ann: I think many people believe once you become a parent, your life is completely about your child. That’s not true. I juggle many professional obligations while I take care of my baby on a daily basis. Besides work, I find time to spend with my partner, separate and apart from family time, and I find time to socialise (well, not so much now as a result of COVID-19). It isn’t easy, but it just takes practice and dedication.
Shamara: I’ve come to realise that it’s not a walk in the park. Your baby won’t be all cute and cuddly 24/7 and be nice. Everything is not perfect. There were times when I’d love to sleep or eat some ice cream in bed, but your second job won’t allow that. It’s hard work!
What is the biggest lesson you have learnt?
Ashleigh-Ann: I know my baby better than anyone else. Trust me, being a mom is a whole new journey filled with so many uncertainties, and many people, including close family, will give you an earful on how to raise your child. I get it, they want to offer support in any way they can, but sometimes it can become a bit confusing. I’ve learned that I should simply nurture a relationship with my child, and I’ll know exactly what she needs and when she needs it. There’s no perfect parent, so I know I’ll make mistakes, and I will listen to suggestions about parenting, but at the end of the day, I know what’s best for my child.
Shamara: Not to take what other moms said as ‘gospel’. I was told that a boy shouldn’t be sitting until six months, but my Israel did at four months. I was told so many things, but I’ve learnt that all babies are different and, as such, grow and accomplish things at their own pace. I’ve also learnt how to stand and sleep at 3:00 a.m. while feeding a baby.
What advice do you have for those almost-first-timers who are expecting?
Ashleigh-Ann: Yuh criss! As your baby continues to grow inside you, talk, read, sing, dance (in the safest way) with him/her, and work on that relationship. You are your baby’s best friend for now, and you have it in you to be a great parent.
Shamara: Trust God, and go with the flow. Don’t be scared by what others have to say because everyone’s experience is unique. Being a mother is a beautiful gift from God. Your child will mimic your every move, so be a great role model.