Michael Abrahams | Why see a therapist?

Psychotherapy, usually referred to simply as ‘therapy’, is the use of psychological methods to treat mental conditions by helping a person to change their behaviour to overcome problems and improve their mental well-being. Therapy has helped countless people to cope with and manage issues that have negatively impacted their mental health.

It is imperative that we understand that not only is our mental health as important as our physical health, but also that mental-health issues have the potential to affect us physically. After all, our brains control multiple functions in our bodies. So dysfunction in that organ can not only affect other organ systems, but by influencing our behaviour, can also lead us to make decisions or adopt behaviours, such as substance abuse and addiction, that can affect us physically and negatively affect social well-being.

Sceptics often ask, “Why should I see a therapist?”, or “What can a therapist tell me that I do not already know?”, or “My situation is not going to change, so how will therapy help me?” However, if someone spends years studying human behaviour, they must know something about the topic that you do not. And even if your situation does not change, you can adjust your attitude towards it, and by doing so, maintain your sanity.

I am not a person of faith, but I do have a favourite prayer: The Serenity Prayer. It says: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” I find that to be a very empowering statement. Even if you do not believe in the existence of a supreme being, those are powerful words. It is important to be able to differentiate between the things we can and cannot change. We often get worked up over things we cannot control or fail to understand that it is possible to muster up the courage to change what we can.

MANY REASONS

There are many reasons for seeking the assistance of a therapist. A common example is emotional dysregulation. If your moods and emotions are not what you would like them to be and you have difficulty controlling them, it may be in your best interest to seek help. We all have changes in our moods from time to time. But if you find yourself feeling persistently off, like being very sad, angry, or anxious, and you are unable to shake those feelings, therapy may be of value to you.

Trauma is another reason. Many of us are survivors of childhood trauma and do not even realise how it affects our mental and physical health and relationships. The same applies to more recent trauma, too. Loss is yet another situation where therapy may be of benefit. The loss of someone through death or the ending of a relationship, and other types of losses, often incite grief reactions, which can be intense or prolonged. Unresolved grief can be a significant barrier to our happiness and mental well-being. The loss of a job can also throw you into a tailspin, and assistance may help you to cope.

Therapy can also help you to manage stress. Chronic stress can literally make you sick and can also shorten your life, so stress management is crucial to your health. Another reason to seek assistance is phobias, which are irrational fears. Some phobias may never seriously affect your life, but others, such as claustrophobia (fear of confined places), aphenphosmphobia (fear of being touched) and philophobia (fear of love), may negatively impact your day-to-day activities or relationships.

ADDRESSING ISSUES

And speaking of relationships, therapy is of value in addressing relationship issues. If you find yourself having difficulty in maintaining peaceful relationships with family, friends, co-workers, and those you date or have intimate relationships with, it may be a good idea to find out why. There may be behavioural patterns you might exhibit that predispose you to having conflicts with others or choosing to be in the spaces of those who may exhibit toxic behaviour and cause you distress.

Therapists are not medical doctors. In cases of severe mental dysfunction, such as a severe and persistent low mood that impairs daily functioning, having hallucinations, or losing touch with reality, consultation with a psychiatrist, a medical doctor who specializes in psychiatric disorders, would be appropriate. Suicidal thoughts are considered to be a psychiatric emergency, and if these occur, a visit to an emergency room is strongly recommended.

Unfortunately, many people do not understand the value of therapy. Stigma, lack of insight, ignorance, arrogance, pride, and other factors serve as barriers that keep people away from therapy, not only to their detriment, but to the detriment of others. There is a popular quote, the origin of which I am unsure, that states, “People in therapy are often in therapy to deal with the people in their lives who won’t go to therapy.” This may sound funny, but it is a factual statement as it is not uncommon for people with significant mental dysfunction to negatively affect others who find themselves in the same spaces as them.

Everybody could benefit from some therapy, not only those who are tormented, but also those who have to interact with them. If you think you may benefit from such assistance, do not be afraid to seek help.

Michael Abrahams is an obstetrician and gynaecologist, social commentator and human-rights advocate. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and michabe_1999@hotmail.com, or follow him on X , formerly Twitter, @mikeyabrahams.