Brer Anancy and di COVID Chrismus dance

A short story by Nadine Newman

“Run kom quick quick! run kom! unno nuh hear weh mi hear? dance ah kiip roun di lane; run kom ev’re baddi, draw near!” Shouted Sista Pearl, di town gossipa. Shi did deh pon a roll dat sunni Satdeh mornin, rite inna di square; she cock-up har foot pon sidewalk, ah tell ev’re baddi bout di big dance lata, weh shi di hear from Brer Anancy, who di hear it from Brer Kirlew, who di hear from Miss Sue.

Ere’badi gather roun excited; cause ah di fus dance ah kiip since covid pass thru di place.

Miss Dash-out-a-road, seh she haffi guh wear sintin hot, cause har babi-fada jus sen moni fram foreign thru western union; an’ Brer Junjo seh him haffi guh buy sum peanut fi roas lata, cause him muss ketch a sale.

Siem taim dem a talk, Ringo a run pass an’ ci di commotion an sey, “Weh yuh a seh?”

When him hear, him seh tuh himself, “mi a guh plan fi mek chuble ‘cause sey ah good while mi nuh get a gal fi hol an bubble.”

Brer Ringo couldn’t wait fi ketch roun a Brer Anancy, cause him ah wonda how him neva tell him fus, and ah long time him waan guh sum weh fanci fi dress up niice.

Brer Anancy did a siddung pon him step a peel corn and ci Brer Ringo a kin-puppa-lick dung di track.

“Oiee deh!” Shout Brer Anancy, “mine yuh drop an mash up mi garden dem!”

“Eerrrkkkkkssss!”, Brer Ringo draw brakes, quick wid him heel back, an seh “Brer Anancy, how yu neva tell mi bout di Chrismus dance lata, ev’re baddi inna town ah talk bout it?”.

TUN HIM YEYE

Brer Anancy tun him yeye to the sky and seh to himself, “Puppa Jizzas, ah nuh di dawg show weh dem ah kip inna di park him ah talk bout?”

Siem taim it kom tu im klier klier, a laik wahn lait switch aan ina him hed, an him seh, ”Yes Brer Ringo, mi figet fi tell yuh, big dance ah kip inna di square lata, but it nuh free. Ah mi dem put in charge of collection, an ev’re baddi haffi pay a Nanny ($500), before yuh reach in deh”.

Den Brer Anancy sey tuh Brer Ringo fi guh back inna di square guh tell ev’re baddi fi kom bring in dem moni from now fi avoid di rush rush lata.

When Brer Ringo run gone. Brer Anancy jump up quick quick, an start jig an seh “mi rich tinite.” Inna di evenin, Brer Anancy start count up di moni weh him hah suh far an ah 20,000 dollars. Ere’baddi weh cum wid dem moni ah seh how dem caaan wait, cause covid jus mek ev’re baddi feel sad an di dance a guh mek dem feel nice again.

Dance fi start 8 o’clock, an wen piiple start rope in 8:30 dem start wonda why dem nah see no sound box ah string up and liat ah flicka pon di street pole dem. Brer Stick- it-to-them, shout out fi smaddy run guh call Brer Anancy cause di soundman well well lait.

RUN KOM

Ten minutes lata Mass Tom bwoy Benji, run kom wid sweat ah pour down him face an seh “him ah knock an shout fi Brer Anancy an lait off inna di house an him nah hear no soun”.

Miss Chin come ova an she sey, ”if ah Brer Anancy yu ah look fah, mi pass him earlier dress lakka cow-backfoot ah talk bout, ‘mi reaallll rich a lie’”.

Miss Dashout-a-road, faint! Miss Pearl start bawl! Brer Junjo kiss him teeth wen him tink bout how much peanut deh pon fire, and Brer Ringo who feel it most of all, cuss waan big badwud, an walk off like wen dawg shame.

Look how him mek sure scrape off di white pon him teeth, an even guh spen him last monei buy carbolic soap fi mek sure him smell extra fresh fresh tinight. All him coulda do, ah shake him head an seh, “Brer Anancy strikes again!”. Jack Mandora, mi no choose none.

Nadine Newman is a lecturer in the Professional Studies and General Education Department at Church Teachers College, Mandeville. Send feedback to nadine.n.newman@gmail.com