Gordon Robinson | The essence of choice

Today is the Old Ball and Chain's 29th birthday.

Only her 40-year-old son, The Computer Whiz, remains in Jamaica to commemorate it with her. So, to celebrate, we travel to Apocrypha, where our pal Oma D'unn, political consultant, who solves political problems by parable, was swamped.

It was budget debate time. Everybody had difficult choices. Bark Balding, Leader of the Opposition Promises Not Performance (PNP) was agonising over whether he could successfully highlight the Speaker's marital status then claim he was critiquing only her performance. AndRue Polemess, PM and leader of Just Lazy People (JLP) wondered how best to label Bark a misogynist if he chose to proceed.

Oma told them both to buy a porn movie. They looked blank so Oma told them the story of the American man who died and was sent to Hell:

“The Devil told him he had three choices then took him to the first room.

It was empty except for a pool of scalding hot water. The man saw Richard Nixon, jump into the pool, climb out and jump back in again.

The Devil said 'That's his punishment. He has to jump into the pool for eternity. If you pick this room, you take his place.'

The man hurriedly asked for Option 2. So they went to the next room.

This room was filled with rocks. The man could see John F Kennedy smashing rocks. The Devil said 'That's his punishment. He must smash rocks for eternity. If you pick this room, you take his place.”

The man asked for option 3.

This room was magnificent. It had a massive king size bed, a table full of delicacies and the works. On the bed, the man saw Donald Trump having sex with Linda Lovelace. The man jumped with joy: 'This room! I pick this room!'

'Are you sure?' the Devil asked.

'Yes definitely!'

'Okay then, Linda you can leave. This man here will be taking your place.'”

Neither Bark nor AndRue understood so Oma explained that, in the world, nothing is as it appears not even choice. First and foremost you must recognise then see through illusion to discern the real choices before picking one. Or none! The most attractive looking scenario mightn't be a choice at all. Before making his choice the dead man didn't take into account that he'd only seen dead people being punished in two rooms.

Like Geraldine Jones, Jamaican voters are faced with similar the-devil-made-me-so-it choices in every election.

Speaking personally, and based only on present day circumstances, if you asked me who, between the two most prominent candidates, I prefer to be Jamaica's PM, my answer would unhesitatingly be Andrew Holness. Like all of us he's far from perfect but my analysis, based on public performance and public characteristics, concludes that, of the two, he has the superior maturity, governance understanding and leadership skills. However, in order to contribute to the result I prefer, I must vote against Julian Robinson as MP for my constituency.

Not. Gonna. Happen!

There's a better chance of me locksing up and then being accepted in JDF. Or, in other words, Ras Solja I shall be!

My choice isn't driven by political apathy. It's a personal revolt against an anti-democratic electoral system.

I'm equally certain several hundred residents of North-West St James (MP Horace Chang) and East-Central St. James (Ed Bartlett) would prefer that Mark Golding be the next Jamaican PM. But if, in order to achieve that, they must vote against their high quality JLP MPs, they'd rather stay home.

Their choices would NOT be the result of political apathy. Those choices would be their revolt against an anti-democratic electoral system.

We the People want REAL choices. We the People want to be represented by the best representatives of the people not by Prime Ministerial surrogates. We the People don't want the PM, regardless of whether he/she is our preference, to be able to have a free hand to take or veto every governance decision unilaterally. We the People want our constituency representatives to vet appointments, including cabinet; monitor and regulate actions of Executive Government; and hold Government members politically accountable for political misdeeds. We the People want the right to dismiss our chosen political representatives by recall election.

I keep saying, if you give the electorate real voting choices, “voter apathy” will disappear. They'll vote in droves. If the only choice is one of two colours, they recognise that tomfoolery as Hobson's choice. It's a hard pass.

Peace and Love.

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com