Kristen Gyles | Check up on the young people

As children growing up in ‘town’, sometimes my brother and I would play cricket in the backyard. We happened to have a cricket bat and all we needed was three sticks straight enough to serve as the wicket, and whatever ball we could find to bowl with. When other kids were around, the more agile among us would climb the ‘Julie’ mango tree either to pick mangoes, to venture onto the roof top or in the case of the girls, to play treehouse.

As we got older as kids, we all had access to more novel amusements. We would congregate in each other’s homes to play cards and board games or to take turns playing with the neighbour’s PlayStation. In any case, whatever the activity, we all played together.

By the time we got to high school, we stopped horsing around outside because, well, we were busy enough with all the gadgets we had inside. We started spending more and more time on the computer because when we didn’t have the usual ton of homework and projects to do, it was fun to play games on the computer or to play ‘Farmville’ on Facebook. When it wasn’t that, we were texting our friends “hey” and “what’s up?” and for some reason that was exciting.

Now, it appears, many of us as young adults are so opposed to leaving the house that it hurts to have to enter social spaces and talk to people. It feels more comfortable lying in bed, scrolling on TikTok. More and more, I meet people in my age group who describe this experience. They want to make social connections but feel as though it will require an enormous amount of energy that they just don’t have. And the result of having these severely underdeveloped social skills? Spending copious numbers of hours on the internet absorbing all kinds of news, opinions, stories, tutorials and trends. Most importantly, we see each other. We see each other in the pictures we post of our vacation trips all over the world, the exquisite meals we eat in expensive restaurants and the milestones and accomplishments we achieve.

We share with the world the absolute best of our lives and forget that others are doing the same. While people are comfortable sharing the most fulfilling moments of their lives, they are not as eager to share their lowest moments, so very rarely do we see the personal struggles others face with their health, money, and self-identity. Instead, because we spend so much time looking at our phone screens, we develop the idea, subconsciously, that everyone else is better off than we are, living in absolute comfort while we are all alone with our many struggles. ‘Comparison syndrome’ is what we will call this horrid disease of the mind.

COMPARISON SYNDROME

Comparison syndrome is very prevalent today and especially prevalent among young people. It is my belief that this line of thinking and other negative outgrowths from overindulgence in social media are contributing to another problem – the anxiety epidemic.

Usually, we say we are anxious when we are experiencing feelings of fear and worry. It makes sense to experience feelings of fear and worry when there is something to be fearful and worried about. Sadly, some people feel this way almost constantly and go through a range of negative mental and physical symptoms associated with fear and worry even when there’s no actual danger. This might mean feeling nauseous, sweating excessively, feeling restless, being unable to focus or concentrate or going through any other stress-induced bodily reaction. When a person consistently experiences this overactive response in situations that pose no threat, they are usually diagnosed with anxiety disorder.

Psychologists say an increasing number of young people are facing this diagnosis.

Persistent stress sometimes leads to anxiety. People have always faced stress and life has always been hard. However, it is a hard sell that life has always been as pressuring for young people as it is today. Some of the pressure young people are feeling might be internal, but much of it is societal.

Society has changed so drastically over the past few decades that the life and career advice that worked for a 20-year-old 30 years ago is barely useful now. Young people today have become inundated with money worries because the world has become consumed by materialism and almost everything revolves around money. The American Psychological Association reported from its 2023 ‘stress in America’ survey that 67 per cent of 18 to 34-year-olds said they feel ‘consumed’ by their worries about money in contrast to only 13 per cent of people 65 years and over who felt that way.

Two generations ago, 22-year-olds could get married and start a family in their own home. Today that is almost a pipe dream because 22-year-olds are likely in college, still seeking the education they need to get a decent job to begin saving towards a home. Life has changed and financial pressures are as real as they have ever been. Furthermore, young adults will naturally face the challenge of navigating all the life changes that come with transitioning into independence.

The point here is that young people in 2025 need support and understanding. Many are struggling with their mental health and feel afraid to speak candidly about their struggles because they feel no one will understand them. As the new year begins, they are even more vulnerable to feelings of inadequacy as they come under pressure to achieve something else in 2025. Check up on them. Help them to acknowledge that their worth is not tied to their achievements. Just as importantly, help them to acknowledge that the value of their achievements is not tied to the achievements of others.

Kristen Gyles is a free-thinking public affairs opinionator. Send feedback to kristengyles@gmail.com and columns@gleanerjm.com