Kelly's World | A shot of liquid courage, please

“But how your mood changes, you’re a devil, now an angel, suddenly subtle and solemn and silent as a monk. You only tell me you love me when you’re drunk.” – Pet Shop Boys

 

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about a song that I found after years of searching. But I never told you the title.

You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You’re Drunk was a minor hit for synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys back in 2000.

As it turns out, the song actually speaks to something I’ve thought about in the past.

I’ve never told another human being that I love them in ‘that’ way. And I sincerely hope that if and when I finally do, I have all my faculties about me.

But on more than a few occasions, I have heard men lay out compliments to the opposite sex after a dose or two of ‘liquid courage’.

Usually, the courage takes the form of white rum, sometimes beer. Occasionally, it’s a more refined product like whisky or, every blue moon, something very top-shelf like Moët.

Bravery in a bottle

Now, to be fair, the bravery-in-a-bottle situation would usually occur when these men are in a comfortable state, whether hanging out with co-workers or at a social gathering.

Also to be fair, most of the recipients of the ‘sweet words’ would have got them anyway, just not so vehemently and so eloquently delivered.

I’ll spare you some of the sentences I’ve heard because as much as this is a ‘big people’ paper, a nuh everyting can print.

The way I see it, there are some problems with liquid courage. One is that it always wears off.

So imagine the little miss takes your words to heart, as they say. What if she decides to give the jovial gent serious consideration?

Unless you plan to go through the entire relationship half-drunk, then this get-together isn’t going to go very far.

I know some people will sarcastically say that’s how their parents have stayed together for so long. Ha ha, not funny.

Even I know that’s no way to build a union. At some point, there has to be moments of clarity.

Another problem with liquid courage is that it may give some women (and men, I guess) a false sense of superiority.

Now, while every human being is beautiful in their own way, not every woman will win a beauty contest and not every man is a ‘face boy’.

So hearing all those glowing comments might make them a tad cocky.

But there is an upside to liquid courage. It brings out your inner Casanova.

Every man has a little sweet talker in him, even me. But, like I said, I’ve never said ‘those three words’ under any circumstance.

To be fair, there are some men who don’t need to be in ‘high spirits’ to express their admiration to the hottest woman in the dance.

For the record, I can’t recall if I’ve ever heard any woman spewing plaudits after a drink or two. Wouldn’t mind if one did.

- Link me at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com.