Xinyu Addae-Lee | An exemplary father

Fatherhood is a sacred and transformative journey that carries immense responsibilities and joys. A good father is a source of stability, guidance, and unwavering support for his children. With love, sacrifice, and wisdom, he plays an irreplaceable role in shaping their lives and fostering their growth.

I have the immense blessing of being able to witness my son experience this daily with a depth of grace, patience, and forbearance that is simply incomparable. I do not doubt there are other fathers that have risen to this kind of excellence, but I can only testify about the father I have witnessed in front and behind closed doors, Jon-Anthony Pryce.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

The way my husband embraces our son, the easy and the challenging aspects, gives our son the reassurance that he does not have to be one way to receive his love. This for me epitomises unconditional love that gives us a sens of security in being true to who we are even if it does not suit someone else.

PROVIDER AND PROTECTOR

I thank God that the father of my child has been a true provider and protector for our family. He works tirelessly to meet our material needs, ensuring that we are secure and comfortable. Beyond the tangible provisions, he creates a sense of security and stability through his presence and dedication. Jax knows that daddy will always come home, always put him first, always offer him the best, always sacrifice for his happiness, and always try to fulfil the desires of his heart. He knows he can reach for the stars, and should he fail to catch a star, his father will catch him before he hits the ground.

ROLE MODEL AND MENTOR

A father must embody values of honesty, integrity, kindness, and responsibility, teaching his son, through his actions, how to put these attributes into practice. Today, Jax may not be able to see this, but I thank God that when that day comes and he is looking at his father’s example of how to be a man in this society, he will see a humble man of excellence and patience that has an impeccable work ethic and is a consummate professional. His balance of working hard while prioritising family time is almost superhuman. He is fully committed to doing what it takes to be the best surgeon while remaining committed to being the best father. This is, however, no surprise. As I look at his father, I see the example he was able to emulate, the man that made him the man he is today, an incredible father, father-in-law, and grandfather, and it confirms to me so deeply the importance of my son having this in his life.

ACTIVE INVOLVEMENT

I have heard stories of fathers that don’t know what a diaper looks like, have never bathed their child, or do not know what the bedtime routine is, but this is entirely foreign to me. The father of my child took time off from work to establish his bond and ensure that he learned how to care for his son completely. Whether it’s playing games, reading bedtime stories, gardening, fixing the house, or simply spending quality time together, his commitment to and genuine interest in our son are beautiful. As a result, my son does not have to settle for whatever version of mommy I am able to give him. He benefits from having a present father that is able to step fully into the role of his caregiver and not feel like a burden, which, let’s face it, if I had to do this alone, or with a man who did not help, he would certainly become. So on a personal note, I am grateful for the father of my son who shares this burden unequally and makes my load light.

On this note, I celebrate and appreciate the invaluable contributions of all types of fathers and father-like figures.

FATHERS AND FATHER FIGURES

Biological fathers, you are irreplaceable. You are the one your child expects to love them. Whatever you think you lack, your child, especially in the early and formative years, is completely blind to. You are the first point of reference for value, worth, identity, and love. There is no one way to be a fatherou. You simply must want to give it your best and trust that it is enough.

Stepfathers, you are our heroes. I believe you have the most incredible emotional maturity. Being able to step into existing family dynamics with love, compassion, and a willingness to support and nurture, and choosing to embrace the responsibilities and joys of raising children who are not biologically your own is a love that has broken free from the barriers most others have. I applaud you.

Adoptive fathers, you exemplify the beauty of chosen love and family bonds. Being able to love someone not because you are expected to or should, but because you chose to, is the kind of love I can only liken to a marriage. This kind of love takes a strong sense of commitment to your word. You decided to become a father and accept that, come what may. There is no going back. Cheers to you.

Grandfathers, you hold a special place in your grandchildren’s lives as you bring wisdom, warmth, and cherished memories. You provide a bridge between generations, sharing stories and experiences that offer valuable life lessons. You also serve as role models, instilling a sense of heritage and family values in your grandchildren. Your love and guidance create lasting connections that carry forward through the generations.

Uncles and mentors, you are instrumental in the personal growth and development of the children you influence. You provide guidance, support, and friendship, stepping into father-like roles when needed. Your presence and influence contribute to shaping their character, helping them navigate life’s challenges and discover their potential. You offer a unique perspective and are often trusted confidants. Whether or not that child has a father, there is no discounting or devaluing your role in their life. I hail you for stepping up and stepping in when needed.

To all fathers and father-like figures, happy Father’s Day! On this day, may you feel truly loved and cherished and be affirmed in the role only you can play.

Dr Xinyu Addae-Lee is a medical doctor and attorney-at-law. She practises in both areas and is passionate about advocating for the adoption process to be more transparent, efficient, and family-focused. Send feedback to services@jaxinja.com and columns@gleanerjm.com