Dad made the difference

When his wife of 10 years, Joan Tomlin Jones, died in 1988, James Jones faced the test of a lifetime that even his broad shoulders may have found difficult to bear.

That challenge included fulfilling his obligations to his four daughters – Sofia, Stacy-Ann, Kaydene and Genevieve – who were all under 10.

Five years later when a relative who helped raise the kids died, his mandate as single dad drove him to work even harder at his three jobs – farming, teaching, and calculating racehorse bets on weekends.

“It wasn’t too easy, but I had to do it, because it was part of my duty,” he said in an interview with The Gleaner. “You are the father of the child, you must see to it that the child comes in the right and proper way; ... it’s just a natural thing.”

Those responsibilities taught him and the four girls life lessons which they cherish today.

Jones, a Rastafarian and native of the cool hills of Clarendon, credits the stability of his own upbringing in a Christian household for the strong values he has held in steering his family. His father was a teacher and an elder in their local church while his mother served as a preacher and organist.

“Not all people in my area, the world, and even Jamaica had that kind of privilege,” he quipped.

Teaching at Iris Gelly Primary School in the gritty southern St Andrew community of Arnett Gardens for nearly three decades has also honed his paternal instincts.

Jones coached football and cricket teams, helping to ingrain positive principles in young men, even if, he said, it meant benching the school’s best footballers because of misconduct in the lead-up to matches.

Growing up without a mother, Kaydene Jones Tyson, who now resides in Canada, recalls having to learn to cook, iron, and do chores early in life. The youngest, or ‘wash belly’, Kaydene lauds her dad as a master chef, rustling up the best-tasting sweet potato pudding and roast beef at Christmas time.

“Trust me, in all my life, it’s the best I’ve ever tasted, [but] for the other 11 months of the year, he conveniently didn’t know how to cook,” she added, joking.

Sofia Jones Gardener and Genevieve Jones Edman both praise their dad for always being there for them through thick and thin.

“I did not notice anything peculiar about the situation growing up. I did not feel like I was missing out,” said Genevieve, who now resides in Canada.

“He tried his best to be there for us. He never tried to be our mother but did not make us feel like we were abnormal for not having one.”

Jones said that it’s his faith in God and the love of his girls that kept him afloat when he felt as though he could not live without his wife.

But even with all the lovey-dovey talk, he’s no softie.

He remembers wryly warning Kaydene, while in the grade five class he taught, that it was not good enough for the teacher’s daughter to place third among her peers. That dry humour inspired her to always top the class thereafter.

“You see from that day, that girl don’t stop come first a primary school. She go to Ardenne (High School), pure first. She got principal’s list at Ardenne,” he boasted.

That premium focus on education has also been transmitted to his grandchildren, including Jenna Gardner.

Jones urges young and expectant fathers to demonstrate their commitment to their children beyond disbursing money.

“You must show an interest in your child. Some of them may only go through and give a money to their babymother, [but] that is not enough,” he said.

“Your child needs your presence, your time; you have to spend that with them. I call upon the fathers to play a bigger role.”

Genevieve learnt the value of black pride and has been teaching her own children about “the greatness of the black race and the greatness within them as black kids”.

Kaydene said her father taught her to never be afraid to pursue her dreams. He also encouraged her not to feel compelled to conform to society’s norms or yield to the perceived limits of race, gender, or social status.