Valentine love for seven decades
Published:Tuesday | February 14, 2023 | 12:57 AMAsha Wilks/Gleaner Writer
It appeared to have been love at first grasp.
At least that is 95-year-old Lloyd Bryan’s recollection of the spark that set off a burning affection for his valentine, Pauline.
And with the now-85-year-old yielding to Lloyd’s offer to hold her hand, she hasn’t let go, seven decades later.
Lloyd said that he knew Pauline was the one for him from the get-go.
And he plotted a simple strategy without the red roses, chocolates, and gift baskets that have become the tradition of modern-day St Valentine’s lovers.
“Y’know, in those days, you hold a young lady’s hand that you don’t know [and she may say], ‘I don’t know you, what you holding me for?’ So I just said to myself, ‘This person, I think I want to spend the rest of my life with her,’” he recalled in a recent interview with The Gleaner.
‘The rest of his life’ has lasted decades, with the couple set to celebrate their 69th anniversary on July 21.
Lloyd was a ‘country man’ from the southeastern Portland community of Manchioneal; Pauline was a ‘town girl’ born and raised in Kingston.
But their antecedents and the bumpy early beginnings of their relationship were no obstacle to young love.
Just one week after the wedding, Lloyd migrated to England for work. Pauline, 17, was left behind in Jamaica, pregnant with the couple’s first son, Norris, who is now 67.
The couple exchanged letters until Pauline and Norris joined him as a permanent resident some time later.
“When I got there, I got pregnant again and had another son, and there we went on. It was very difficult really, living in a cold country, not having real families near us,” Pauline said.
“We have to make our lives for us. That’s how we stuck together.”
The union produced four children, with Norris followed by Patrick, now 65; Sharon, 59; and Melony, 57, who are all living overseas. The Bryans also have 11 grandchildren and 20 great-grandchildren.
Life in England was “rough”, said Lloyd, but the couple weathered those hardships, purchasing a home in 1960.
They worked as machine operators at the MARS confectionery factory for many years, with Pauline also doing a brief stint as a nurse.
Their time as migrants wasn’t without drama.
Pauline recounted how while at home with the children in the Paddington neighbourhood of London one Christmas, the building caught fire.
With Lloyd at work and the family’s lives at risk, Pauline said she tossed the children, one of whom was weeks old, through an open window and into the arms of a neighbour because an exit door was inaccessible. She, too, had to leap out the window.
Pauline recalls her husband’s supportiveness over the years, including his readiness to lend a hand in the kitchen – a trait he retains.
MARRIAGE IS TEAMWORK
Lloyd insists that marriage is a team sport – from juggling duties in the kitchen to taking children to the park to going shopping. And his acknowledgement that “women’s work is not easy” is word of wisdom that he offers to young or prospective husbands.
“We men think that because we do all the work, our work is hard, but our work is not hard. The women work with kids in the home. They are more of the breadwinner because they got to do the housework, they got to do the washing ... . And some of us men when we come home from work, tired and thing, we kick our shoes off with our Gleaner in our hand ... [stating], ‘Could you bring me a drink?’” said.
In 2004, fourteen years after returning to Jamaica, the couple’s island home was burgled a week before the celebration of their 50th anniversary. The Bryans said that the gold rings for commemoration of the occasion were stolen along with other valuables.
Seventeen years later, in 2021, they were robbed again.
After returning home, Lloyd and Pauline stumbled on the thieves. Pauline was shoved to the ground as they fled.
As Lloyd drove in, he accidentally hit one of the thieves off a motorcycle on which the three men were escaping.
But those misfortunes have never caused the Bryans’ faith in God, or their love, to waver.
And Lloyd still showers his wife with even more praise now than during their courtship.
“This little lady here, I call her my queen, I call her my world, and now I am going to call her my everything because she stands by me. I wasn’t perfect, but she made me the man I am today, and I am proud of her,” Lloyd said.
The Bryans’ four tips for young couples
1. Work together as one.
2. Avoid conflict if you want your marriage to last.
3. Don’t physically abuse your spouse; end conflicts before they escalate.
4. Be compassionate and patient; learn to “resist some things”.
Valentine trivia
1. One of the Bryans’ favourite songs to dance to is The Prayer by Céline Dion and Andrea Bocelli.
2. The couple have gone on faraway excursions, visiting countries like Italy, Greece, Spain, Canada, and the United States.
3. Queen Elizabeth II presented them with a plaque commemorating their diamond wedding anniversary.
4. They enjoy gardening and preparing meals together.