Dads share heart-warming lessons of fatherhood
Published:Friday | June 16, 2023 | 12:53 PMKrysta Anderson/Staff Reporter
To many children, a dad is a living superhero. It’s an incredible title for men who, by all accounts, are going through the ebb and flow of parenting. Many are honoured by this crowning, noting that the responsibility is humbling and life-changing and the journey, nothing short of a blessing. Schooling us in life, we asked a few dads about the lessons fatherhood has taught them.
Financial service specialist, Carlton Stewart, is father to a son and a daughter. He explained that being a dad has taught him invaluable lessons that have shaped and transformed his life. Among the experiences that stood out for him is understanding the depth and power of unconditional love.
“The love I have for my children is boundless and unwavering, transcending any challenges or shortcomings. It has taught me the beauty of selflessness and the joy of putting someone else’s needs before my own,” he told Living.
He realised that he is now big on celebrating in the present moment because life is fleeting and children grow up so fast. “Children have an innate ability to live in the present and find joy in the simplest of things. It is so important for me to be fully present, cherish every moment shared with them, understand the significance of spending quality time and creating lasting memories.”
Additionally, having children has assisted him in reassessing his priorities so that he is able to focus on what truly matters in life. “My perspective of self-centred ambitions has shifted to creating a nurturing and loving environment for them,” he shared.
Then there is the attitude of gratitude that comes with the post, spilling over into all facets of Stewart’s life.
“The love and bond I share with my children have deepened my sense of gratitude and appreciation for life’s blessings. I am more aware of the privileges I have and the joy that comes from witnessing their growth, milestones, and achievements. Being a father has taught me to find gratitude in both the big and small moments of parenthood,” he added.
Producer Duhane Christie said fatherhood has given his life new meaning, teaching him the value of it in the process. “There is the phrase, ‘Something worth living for’ and this is what my children have given me. I know I have to keep safe and understand the need for survival, so that I can in turn be there for Paige and Kal-El.” The full-time job takes well-being in check, giving Christie greater insight into teaching them certain values like manners, respect and love.
Brand manager and girl dad, Mark Telfer, is a firm believer in leading by example. For him, this not only means giving his daughters a shining example to emulate, but also becoming a child once again.
“I want to lead by example, so I try my best each day to emulate the things I hope for my two girls. Children have an unfiltered view of life, which allows them to see the possibilities in everything, how to enjoy every moment and to love without reason. And I enjoy being a part of that journey,” he shared.
What is important to note is that although he is an adult, being a dad, for him, means admitting when he’s wrong, apologising for any wrongdoing or misunderstanding and asking for forgiveness. “Being an adult doesn’t always make us right. We are not perfect, so we will likely say something to our children or do something that requires an apology. I make a conscious effort to acknowledge those things and ask for forgiveness,” Telfer said.
The word ‘no’ doesn’t factor into his vocabulary when it comes to his children; nor does taking a time-out in a corner. He views this as a limited scope of parenting that doesn’t help with skill development.
“I always try to encourage my girls and speak positively. They seem to remember everything I say, even my 18 month old, and because words shape our future, I need them to see themselves as brilliant and beautiful. My princesses rarely hear no. I encourage all that they want to do and even include them in my projects, showing them that anything is possible,” he highlighted.
Instead of saying no, Telfer finds safer alternatives to what is being asked or takes the time to explain the details of why this or that can’t be done.
He is happy to be raising future queens of their own destiny and is elated that they have each other to keep company. “Two is better than one. I’m no longer trying to keep up with all the energy levels.”
Entrepreneur Kevin Drysdale describes himself as a dad and a mighty slayer of the biggest of invisible monsters and the smallest of bugs. “I have been promoted to a house full of screams and the intoxicating fragrance of diapers, managed by a tiny-human dictator with a talking problem. A feeling I would never trade for anything else,” he confessed.
Being a father to a son and a daughter has taught him infinite love, empathy, sacrifice, resilience and strength. “My beautiful children have taught me the joy of seeing rainbow magic in everything we do and that anything can be made into an exciting adventure. They have taught me that there is no more ‘me’ or ‘I’. ‘I’ have expanded, evolved, and am now a whole lot better than I ever was alone; it added a whole new meaning of ‘us’. I have a partner in crime, a best friend, a little shadow that thinks I’m the best superhero out there.”
Fatherhood has unlocked his purest, truest, most vulnerable form. Whatever Drysdale does and wherever he goes, he is intentional about being present for his children.
“No matter what, I make time and I show up to create experiences and memories for a lifetime, to ensure my children feel loved, never miss a chance to say ‘I love you’ and celebrate each and every special moment together.
When they ask for just one more story or climb into his bed in the middle of the night because they are afraid of the dark, Drysdale is reminded that it’s the little things in life that truly matter, or in his case, his tiny humans.
“Cups up to all the fathers out there discovering their own version of ‘us’! To many more heart-melting smiles, first little steps, dirty diapers, sounds of little feet running around the house, the symphony of giggles and screams, the chaotic, yet beautiful chorus of ‘Daddy! Daddy!’. We deserve this. Happy Father’s Day,” he added.