Menopause and its effect on the family

 Don't worry with me, I'm not a playboy

Miserable woman, you're too miserable

Miserable woman, you're too miserable

Miserable Woman - Eric Donaldson

According to an article on healthywomen.org more than 60 per cent of divorces are initiated by women in their 40s, 50s or 60s - the menopause years. The article cites a survey done by AARP Magazine with women attributing lack of communication as one of the main causes.

Growing older comes with its own set of challenges, but for women who are getting on in years, it is even harder to deal with, especially when they are going through the menopausal phase.

It is something that not only affects their partners but their entire family, as children, too, get caught up in the emotional mood swings that often occur.

Family and Religion reached out to trained counsellor, Kerrian Johnson to give some insight on the issue. She informed that menopause is a normal condition that all women experience as they age. For her, it is a time when conversation should be had with all parties in the family.

She said children, especially need to to be sensitised as it is easy for them to get confused when their mother's or grandmother's behaviour seem to have undergone a "360 degree" turn.

 

Uncomfortable Experience

 

"It can be an uncomfortable experience talking to them about it, but it will be worth it as talking about the emotional changes and explaining away the occurrences of snapping or irritability will make it easier for them to deal with," she shared.

Johnson also stressed that the conversation should be tailored according to the age and maturity level of the child, as younger children will need more reassurances than older ones who may just be puzzled about the frequent episodes of anger and unnecessary snapping.

When it comes to the partners, Johnson said that it would be a good idea for them to educate themselves on what menopause is and what to expect.

This, she said, will make it easier for them to assist their spouse and also to not allow the emotional outbursts and mood swings to place a damper on their relationships.

"Being supportive and understanding are two main features needed at this time," she said, adding that women, too, need comfort as they can't even understand some of what they are going through and often must deal with the guilt they face from unwittingly hurting the ones they love.

 

Seek Counselling

 

Menopausal women with a good support system around them, can "ride out the phase" but for those who feel overwhelmed or are unable to deal with the avalanche of uncontrolled emotions, Johnson advised that they should seek counselling or visit their doctor.

Failure to deal with it, said Johnson, can have damaging effects on those around her.

"Given the different types of mood swings that most women experience, it is hard for a child not to be affected. They will be blamed for things they did not do or even had any control over. They will, at times, be neglected and even blame themselves for the constant arguing between parents. Children do suffer through this stage if it is not handled with care," said Johnson.

Understanding, she said will go a long way during this transition in a woman's life, and it will be the "greatest weapon of choice to deal with it and still be able to have a fulfilled life."

familyandreligion@gleanerjm.com