For a mother’s love – Part I

MANDEVILLE, Manchester:

When a mother looks at her child, she does not see the flaws first; she sees a human being who she brought to this earth and the innocence he/she first entered with.

Family and Religion caught up with some parents at the Camp Triple C Parent/Child mentorship programme, which focused on improving the relationships between parents and children.

No problem is truly unique, and it is found that as parents learn of the flaws within their children, their first instinct is to find intervention.

“When I hear about my daughter getting into fights, I feel upset because I never want to go to her school because she is misbehaving, but I realise that it has to be something deeper, so I always try to talk to her. I try as best as possible to help her understand that education is her way out and when she messes up this part of her life, it can affect the rest of it,” said mother Tanya Cohen-Crowl.

She added: “I remember once I was told she fought a little boy because he slapped her in the face, and I know my daughter is very defensive because I too was defensive growing up. I was very arrogant, and I have to be truthful, but I have to let her know it is unacceptable.”

Cohen-Crowl said she now uses her life as an example for her daughter and has visions for her future.

“I am in the Church, and you know when you say ‘God’, you have to be set apart. And I realise that my daughter has taken on to a different approach. She isn’t jumpy and quick to fight,” she noted.

The mother also praised the efforts of Camp Triple C, an initiative of the Ministry of Education, Youth and Information, and USAID for the intervention.

“I have a great relationship with my daughter, and we talk a lot, and that is what I love. I want all parents to ensure they have a good relationship with their children because if they can’t come and talk to you, then they will find someone else to talk to, and you don’t know what advice they will be giving your child,” said Cohen-Crowl.

She also quickly noted that parents must dispel the notion of one-sided respect.

“You have some parents that believe that children must respect parents, but parents don’t have to respect children, but it doesn’t work like that. The more respect you show your child is the better the relationship will be between you two,” she said.

GETTING HELP

She also asked parents who have trouble managing their children to seek help.

“Help is available; don’t try to do it on your own. Some children have very bad behaviour, and they need counselling. You can’t give them any kind of punishment and expect that it will work. Sometimes that makes the problem worse and children just start rebelling,” the mother advised.

“I have a son, as well, and I have to point out my life mistakes and help them see the consequences. I didn’t get the schooling they are getting, and I have to let them know that certain jobs that I do to get by, I don’t want them doing it because with education they are now receiving and will receive in the future can help them get a better a life. I am working hard for that now,” she noted.

T.B.