Blinded by love, he chased her till she said yes
Published:Friday | November 27, 2020 | 12:06 AMNadine Wilson-Harris/Staff Reporter
Although he is blind, Dwayne Walker had set his sights on his future wife since she was 10 years old and doggedly pursued her until she, too, felt the love connection and married him last year.
Like 34-year-old Dwayne, Staniece Taylor, now 31, is blind. Their paths first crossed while attending the Salvation Army School for Blind, and as Staniece recalled, he found every opportunity to talk to her. She was just in the fourth grade at the time and tried hard to avoid him, but he was always standing at her classroom door at the end of each session.
“All if my class never finish, he used to stand and wait until my class finish, and sometimes I used to hide and don’t let him know that I am coming out,” she recalled.
Dwayne eventually placed his interest on hold, but in 2011, he reconnected with Staniece by chance after one of her friends gave him her MP3 player to repair. They decided to give love a try and in 2012 moved in together.
Happily Married
Eight years later, they say they are happily married despite the challenges presented by their disability.
“It naw gwaan bad, you know. We are used to ups and downs already, and anybody that wasn’t used to ups and downs, they have to get used to it now, because as you can see what is going on,” he said, making reference to the COVID-19 pandemic and the financial turmoil it has created for many families.
Both now reside in a house that Dwayne received from Food For The Poor in 2015, but oftentimes it leaks, making life uncomfortable, and they are sometimes without electricity. The lack of Internet connectivity has forced Dwayne to send his six-year-old daughter to live with her grandmother in Stony Hill, St Andrew, where she can have access to a tablet and Internet.
Prior to COVID-19, Dwayne, who considers himself an entertainer, would go on the Jamaica Urban Transit Company buses and preach, sing or provide comic relief for commuters. Persons would often donate, and these funds, along with contributions from an aunt, would be used to sustain the couple.
Staniece has not been able to get a steady job because she is hypertensive and sometimes endures intense pain in her eyes because of surgery in a bid to save her sight when she was three years old. “Sometimes you don’t have funds the way you would want it to go,” she said.
Both have been spurned by potential suitors in the past because of their disability. For some, being with a disabled person is a burden, better left avoided.
Those are some of the cultural challenges faced by persons living with disabilities, a concern that continues to draw scrutiny as Jamaica prepares to join the world in commemorating International Day of Persons with Disabilities on Thursday, December 3.
“Many blind people, their husbands or them wives don’t even want to walk with them enuh,” said Dwayne, who said he prayed for a wife.
“We get lots of discrimination. I meet women that say, ‘no, mi not gonna tell any lie, I cannot take you up, because if I take you up, is like [you are] a baby’.”
Staniece said she was encouraged by friends to not get involved with someone who is blind. This does not come as a surprise to Dwayne, who finds that girls with visual impairment are often encouraged by parents and peers to get involved with a sighted man, as the perception is that they would be in a better position to help them. Both got fierce criticisms when their love connection became public.
“We never watch nothing, although we don’t have anything to watch,” Dwayne said.
“This relationship here look like it set yah, man, it look like it set like ice inna tray,” he said, as he reflected on a vow he made to Staniece from 2000, when they were just teens, that he would marry her one day.
Executive director of the Jamaica Society for the Blind, Conrad Harris, said finding love is a concern for blind persons, to the extent that it is a recurring topic during group discussions. There tends to be a prevailing perception that a blind person is “useless”.
“The partner might perceive that if they get involved with a blind person, they will have to take care of that person for the rest of their lives, when actually that is not so,” he said.
The general consensus is that men stand a better chance of being with a sighted lady. This is because women are often more sensitive and compassionate. A man, on the other hand, would likely be teased by his friends for being with a blind girl.
Dwayne and Staniece believe their lack of sight hasn’t hampered their love life.
Although Dwayne cannot see his wife, there are certain attributes he loves about her. Her weight, he said, has made her irresistible.
“I always say any time I am talking to lady, I don’t want no dolly pon mi bed, mi want weight, just like a pressure cooker,” he said.
Their sex life has not suffered due to their lack of sight.
“She look like she is a teacher still because with the past girls them that I used to talk to, I never did really know, is them have to help push the bucket past the hill,” he said.
A Situational Analysis of Persons with Disabilities in Jamaica that was published by United Nations Children Fund in collaboration with Digicel Foundation and the Jamaica Council for Persons with Disabilities in 2018 found that persons with disabilities (PWDs) are often criticised or denied access to services and products that would promote their sexual and reproductive health.
“It is traditionally perceived that PWDs are asexual beings and thus have no need to access information or resources that support their sexual health,” the researchers noted.
Want to help?
Please contact Dwayne Walker: (876) 347-2363. Donations can also be made through the Jamaica Society for the Blind (876) 927-6757 or (876) 927-6759.