‘Mothers, be careful of what you say to your boys’

PORT ANTONIO, Portland:

PRESIDENT OF the Change A Life Foundation in Portland, Sharon Harris, says the breakdown of moral standards in the Jamaican society is as a direct result of parenting.

She stressed that unless careful consideration and provision is made to ensure that proper guidance and equality is demonstrated by mothers in the home, the situation of teenage youth getting involved in gangs and other acts of crime could significantly worsen.

She said that it is the selfish and uncaring attitude displayed by mothers that hamper the true potential of boys, who are oftentimes shunned in the home and are left in dire need of love and affection.

Harris, who was speaking at a special function at the Port Antonio Amphitheatre in Port Antonio recently, argued further that boys are oftentimes exposed to high levels of abuse and ridicule in the home, which she said is quite opposite to the kind of treatment received by girls, especially from mothers.

“Girls are pampered by mothers, while boys are taught to be rough and tough, and not to show or display any type of emotion, which is so wrong,” Harris said.

“When a little boy is playing and he stumbles and falls, and probably hurts himself, he is told instantly to get up and stop crying, and the usual comment from the mother is that ‘You are crying like a girl. You must grow tough. Stop crying ... only girls cry’. And therefore, what you will find is that as that child grows older, and even when he is in pain or emotionally hurt, he has to tough it out. The end result is that he grows up with little or no emotion or feeling for anyone or anything.

“He goes through life’s journey thinking that it is wrong to cry or to show kindness to anyone. And very soon, this same boy-turned-man starts to display that male toughness and uncaring attitude towards everyone, and this is as a result of his upbringing in the home. Mothers, you need to be careful of the things that you say to your boys or you might just be raising the next gangster or perhaps someone worse than that. Children must be children and they have to experience pain, emotions, and love.”

She called on Jamaican mothers to pay close attention to the needs and development of their male children.

Harris is urging young men to rise up and claim their rightful place in the society, despite what she described as direct attempts to stigmatise and marginalise them.

“It is time for men to rise up and claim their rightful place in society. So many of you have been exposed to all levels of abuse and rejection. Mother’s Day is a heavily celebrated event, but what happened to Father’s Day? Aren’t the fathers equally important in a family setting? You are taught to be rough and to display this masculinity and not to quarrel or argue. If you quarrel and argue then you are described as a gal. I am saying let’s create a level playing field for all sexes, because it is OK to cry and show emotions,” Harris said.