Dear Doc | Could a pill stop her cheating?
Published:Monday | July 4, 2016 | 12:00 AM
Q Doctor, is there such a thing as a pill that would stop a woman from committing adultery? Otherwise, I fear I am going to do it.
I am in my early 30s, married and have three children, age between 10 and 14. I also have an excellent job at the university. My husband is a good man, but perhaps a little dull.
A few months ago, I met an American businessman. He describes himself as 'divorced and dynamic'. I was certainly swept off my feet by the force of his personality. Oh yes. I should have mentioned that he is very handsome, and in great physical shape.
Three weeks ago, he asked me to give him a one-day tour of the island. Mistakenly, I agreed. I told my husband, and he said he had no objection. I was a little surprised at that.
We started off at breakfast time, heading east along the coast road through Yallahs and Morant Bay. I was driving, as he said that he was not used to keeping to the left. He talked all the way - and he was great fun. Also, he paid me several really nice compliments about my appearance.
We were well into Portland when we came to a beautiful and totally deserted beach. He suggested we stop and have a swim.
I replied: 'But I haven't got a swimming costume with me.' And he said: 'Neither have I - but we won't look at each other.'
Foolishly, I fell for that line. So we went down onto the sands, and had a quick skinny dip in the waves. Guess what, Doc? As we came out of the water, he threw his arms around me, and gave me a big face-to-face kiss. It was marvellous.
Fortunately, I managed to prevent anything further happening. I quickly dried myself on a rug from the back of the car, and got dressed. Then we continued to Port Antonio - where he told me that he was falling in love with me.
For the rest of the day, as we continued round the island, he bombarded me with compliments, and also hints about how he would like to take me to bed. I did my best to pay him no mind, and in the evening, we got back to the university campus with my virtue intact.
However, since then, he has taken every opportunity to meet. I have even been for a drink with him a couple of times. My husband does not know this. The trouble is that I am finding him more and more fascinating. I think he is the most exciting guy I have ever met.
Now, he has gone back to the US for the rest of the summer. But he has promised that he is returning in September - and he says he is 'determined to make me his'. Obviously, he desperately wants to have sex with me. And the truth is that I am going to find it real difficult to resist him. Doctor, I think I am in love with him. This whole thing is like a truck speeding along a road, and I can't think of a way to stop it.
So please tell me: could you or any other Doc prescribe a tablet that would be 'damp down' my sexual urges and help me to resist this charming man?
A This is an unfortunate situation. Clearly, you have fallen in love with this man. And maybe he is genuinely in love with you - though perhaps he is just one of those 'Lotharios' who like to sweep women off their feet and seduce them.
Look, there is no medication that will damp down your desire, and prevent you from committing adultery with that charismatic man. All I can do is to beg you not to go ahead and have sex with him. That would almost certainly lead to big trouble. For a start, you are still very much in the fertile age group, so you could easily end up with a little American baby next year.
Also, a sexual relationship with this guy could well put an end to your marriage. Though you find your husband 'dull', a break-up could be a real tragic business.
In these circumstances, I advise people to resolve to have no contact at all with the person they have fallen for. Please don't take phone calls from him. Don't reply to any emails or texts. Don't agree to any meetings. Above all, don't let him get you on your own - that could easily lead to sex.
The happiness of your children, your husband and yourself is at stake here. So please, do not let this guy back into your life.
My wife wants me to shave my pubic hair
Q My wife has suggested that I shave off my pubic hair. I don't know why. Should I agree? Or are there any health risks?
A In recent years, 'going shaved' has become really common all over the world. This trend has partly been caused by people seeing porn films in which most actors and actresses are shaved.
Also, there is a widespread belief that shaving is more hygienic. This is not actually true.
My guess is that your spouse is 'turned on' by the idea of having sex with a shaved guy. But why not ask her?
As to 'health risks' of shaving, the only significant one is that you may get minor infections in the hair follicles, so that you develop little 'spots' that are filled with pus. I have seen this quite often, but it is not serious.
My advice: no one should shave the pubic hair unless they are really happy about doing it.
Which birth-control method should I use?
Q I am female, age 38, and I have just acquired a sexy, new boyfriend. So I must get some contraception, urgently.
My doctor says that, because the Pill is not suitable for me, she can offer me a choice of three birth control methods: the coil, or Mirena, or the under-skin implant. Which should I choose?
AIf your periods are light, then the coil (IUD) is a reasonable option. If they are heavy, then Mirena would probably be a good idea - because it reduces blood flow markedly.
As for the implant, this does carry a small risk of causing thrombosis (clotting). So it may not be a good choice for you.
Other contraceptive possibilities include the female condom, the male condom, and the diaphragm or cap.
She 'leaks' a bit of urine during foreplay
Q My new girlfriend sometimes leaks a little urine when I am 'fingering' her. Is this OK? And will it do me any harm?
A No, it will certainly not do you any harm. Slight leakage of urine during sex is common among women - particularly those who have given birth to several babies.
But if she ever starts losing quite a lot, she should check with her doctor to see if anything can be done about it. Sometimes, pelvic exercises help. Please note that it may not be urine that she is leaking. Some women 'squirt' a natural sexual secretion when they climax. This is known as 'female ejaculation,'and it is harmless.