The Clinton 'dress parade'

The Soloist, Contributor

I attended last Monday's speech by former United States President Bill Clinton at The Jamaica Pegasus hotel. My ticket placed me in the third row. I could see him breathing. All I can say is, lucky Hillary, he is still a charmer.

But my rant this week is not about the brilliant and eye-opening reminders he had for Jamaicans, it's about the attire selected by people who should know better. Believe it or not, some men wore tuxedoes! I have long given up on our men's ability to dress appropriately, and it seems the women are so glad to have them around, they forget to put out the clothes they should wear.

No offence, but far too many men are colour-blind, sense-of-occasion-deficient beings. And many of those at the event wore anything from business to lounge suits and all imaginable variations in-between. They all got the current accessory right though, a BlackBerry!

Now, the women took the cake. I have never felt more embarrassed for my gender. I am assuming that if you are attending an event that costs anywhere from $12,000 to $86,000 per ticket, you can read the line that says 'dress code' on an invitation. So what the hell were so many of you doing in a ball/prom/wedding-guest gown?

Vulgarity

I saw organza with beads and sequins, the current floral maxis, strapless and halter; there were body-hugging black silk numbers, bustled satin and ruffles and lace, not to mention seam/bosom-bursting vulgarity. Boobs hung every which way; shawls were flung, hung and tied rather than subtly wrapped or thrown casually over the shoulder. It was a circus!

Those who wore the correct attire looked great. So, as we approach prime-time dress-up season of parties galore, do yourselves a favour - grab a fashion guide, consult some experts and hit the keys of Google in search of the definitions of the following: black tie, formal, lounge suit, casual, business attire, cocktail dresses, and do some homework. Stop putting on everything just because you own it.

I saw one person in a black and white gown, skirt one pattern, the top another; it also had a wide silver belt, a silver and black shawl and a necklace so overpowering, it was almost winking at me. Her hair, which should have been up, was hanging loose, and she is definitely at that age when shorter cuts are more flattering to women. Ah well, perhaps there was a special on hair!

Last Monday evening/night, a simple lounge suit would have sufficed for men; and for women, a short (black) dress with straps or sleeveless and minimum embellishment would have looked appropriate. Formal suits for women with some frilly/shimmery/animal print/beaded underpinnings could also have gone down well. Team this with fabulous jewellery and shoes.

But definitely not the overdressing that we saw, especially when the the invitation clearly stated 'cocktail' for the dress code. The organisers might be well advised to use the words 'lounge suit' next time.

lifestyle@gleanerjm.com