Single but iffy to mingle: What a girl wants

Men love to say women are complicated. And I'll be the first to admit that it's not easy being with a woman, because it's not easy being a woman. When we're not hormonal, we're being emotional - I get it. And there are those who don't even display much emotions to begin with, so you can't really tell if she is truly for you or downright against you. You may just be a pawn as she queens her way in the game of chess. I will tell you this though: many women know what they want. Whether or not you are of her calibre, now that's a completely different story.

I never quite got why men would frown upon a woman for wanting a rich man. If her priority is financial security, then who are you to stand in the way of that? Especially if you know your heart is bigger than your pocket. Yes, you like her, and yes, you could even love her. Be as mad as you want for her not giving you the time of day. But that doesn't change the fact that she won't consider or reconsider your application submission to change her relationship status, because essentially, you are not what she wants.

I've always been a believer of telling a man what I want from the get-go. Already, I've been in debates about sleeping over on the first date: something I don't entertain, especially if that's stated as the first thing to do on his agenda. Then there are those who complain about my hectic work schedule, before they even get to know me. Let's see if you can make it to round one, before you try to rearrange my life. Most throw in the towel way too early and some are too stubborn for their own good, which is why while I've been single, I find it so hard to mingle.

But let's lay it out there in the open. Here's an idea of what I do want: a man who has already figured out what he's about - you will be surprised at the many lost souls wandering the streets. A man who is attracted to the 'fluff' - yes you read correctly, I'm not your improvement project, I'm actually fitter than you may think. A man who is smart, passionate, responsible, romantic and sentimental, kind, caring, thoughtful and genuine. It would be nice if he were goal-oriented, or open to making goals, whether long-term or short-term.

SURREAL QUALITIES?

A man holding down a solid J O B, whether he's a nine-to-fiver or an entrepreneur. A man who is into scheduled and spontaneous dates, a man who knows how to take time out of his version of busy, just to be with me. A man who is articulate, engaging, stimulating, who pushes me to be a better person, who knows how to communicate, but is almost speechless by my beauty - sounds surreal, doesn't it? A girl can dream. A leader, a protector, who will defend my honour - but a man who listens, who understands (my busy schedule, my passions) and even in heated arguments is willing to compromise for the sake of us. A man who isn't afraid to love and when the time is right, will love wholeheartedly. A man who is not intimidated by a strong woman and is up for having some crazy fun time with an independent/dependent chic - I dabble between the two. A man who will be my king, if he wants me as his queen so we can rule our kingdom of love together, side by side, hand in hand.

And I want, more than anything, a man who won't give up when the going gets tough. But then, that's later down the line.

Will I ever find my Mr Ideal? Maybe, maybe not. But I won't rob myself of the chance of true love and happiness. So I won't settle for right now. I'll continue to mend my broken heart, enjoy my own company and see what life has in store for me. But let it not be said I don't know what I want.

P.S. If you're a perverted invader, or a verbal and/or physical abuser, let's just make this clear: you have got to go - I do not negotiate with terrorists.

krysta.anderson@gleanerjm.com