Gordon Robinson | Will it go round in circles?

In a tense 1970s domino game the Dunce drew six-four; five-four; double-four; four-trey; six-blank; five-blank; and trey-blank.

Sitting below the poser (me), the Dunce’s first play was six-four. Gene Autry played four-blank. Next round the Dunce played trey-four. In the end he was left with dead double-four. Dessie fumed “Why yu don’t play blank?”

The Dunce explained patiently “I’ve more four than blank.”

Dessie threw a domino at the Dunce followed by “But you want Autry to play blank-four NOT four-blank.”

The Dunce had the final word “If a macca mek it jook yu!”

Permanent spectator, Haemorrhoid, stopped whining about “piles and piles” of files on his desk and launched an always handy shaggy dog tale.

“Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship. ‘Follow me son’ the father shark said to his son. ‘First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing.’ So they did.

‘Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing.’ So they did.

‘Now we eat everybody.’ So they did.

When they finished, the son asked, ‘Dad, why didn’t we just eat them all at first? Why’d we swim around and around them?’ His wise father replied, ‘Because they taste better without the crap inside!’”

Before Old BC’s beloved nephew-in-law, Marine Biologist Dayne Buddo, harangues me for misrepresenting the Great White’s proclivities (rarely bite and definitely never eat humans) I hasten to plead literary licence. Meanwhile Haemorrhoid told the Dunce sometimes it’s best not to show your hand too early. Some deceptive lurking, followed by confusing circling can produce better results.

Mickel Jackson, JFJ’s impressive executive director, recently highlighted the massive parliamentary backlog consisting mainly of disregarded private members’ motions and Opposition proposed Bills. She said:

“The impeachment bill introduced by [LOO] in 2021 is a major concern for us as we talk about accountability and constitutional reform.”

I’m not so enthralled with THAT Impeachment Bill. It reminds me of Haemorrhoid’s circling sharks. It’s not for our benefit.

According to Jamaica Accountability Meter Portal (JAMP) led by the equally impressive Jeannette Calder:

“The Bill proposes....parliamentarians could be punished for acts of malfeasance….such as corruption or abuse of authority that render them unfit to hold public office or bring their office into disrepute.”

Sound good eee? Now look for the fins:

“HOW CAN AN ELECTED OFFICER BE REMOVED?

First, the accused official must be found guilty of an impeachable offence. Then, the House of Parliament in which the official sits must vote to sanction him.”

Really? Seriously? MPs voting to sanction MPs? Have we learned NOTHING during the recent conflict of interest cass-cass?

This seems a blatant political three-card-trick! Or chronic ignorance of constitutional law principles of Natural Justice! Or both!

I got a song that ain’t got no melody.

I’m gonna sing it to my friends.

Will it go round in circles?

Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky?

The concerns require clear, unemotional, non-partisan thinking to find solutions. Parliamentary backlogs are direct result of inadequate sittings and scattered focus. I know of no other employee earning $14 million per annum who goes to office for a half day every week and enjoys at least 10 weeks per year vacation.

MPs are elected to represent constituents IN PARLIAMENT not to be pretend godparents or prance about in front of ever present cameras taking credit for government agencies’ work instead of for making representations to said agencies on constituents’ behalf.

The “Impeachment Bill” is a farcical reminder of Billy Preston’s 1972 hit Will it go round in circles. Preston became famous as a session musician for the likes of Little Richard, Sam Cooke, Ray Charles, Everly Brothers and Beatles before blossoming as a solo artist. The song is about people who keep doing or talking about the same thing without achieving anything.

The sham “Impeachment Bill” only emphasizes the need for real constitutional reform. MPs shouldn’t be “voting” to remove other MPs. If MPs under-perform, including parliamentary non attendance, only electors should be able to sanction them by way of recall elections. Impeachment followed by conviction and sanction for political crimes is properly applicable to members of a separate Executive Government but imposed by Parliament.

Parliament cannot even handle its current workload with a half-day work week. A properly reconstructed Parliament should sit four days per week from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. with one hour lunch break. MPs must start earning their salaries.

Peace and Love.

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com