‘Perfect match’
Families excited after finding missing pieces of their puzzles through adoption
Published:Sunday | December 31, 2023 | 12:11 AMCorey Robinson - Senior Staff Reporter
First, there was the distance spanning the United States and Jamaican borders. Then there were cultural differences and behavioural modifications that brought unfathomable challenges in the past year. However, none of the difficulties defeated Americans Charisse and Matthew Phillips’* desire to adopt two boys from the island to finally make their family of four complete.
The brothers Bejournae (BJ) and Everton, then five and three years old, respectively, were among 245 completed adoptions for 2021 and 2022. A total of 101 were males while 144 were females. They round out a sum of 1,789 children adopted since 2012. Of that number, 829 were males.
Another successful story is that of 50-year-old Jamaican Strotrell Lowe and his wife, Camille. They were married in 2004, but despite various attempts, they failed to produce a biological child. That dream of becoming parents, however, came late last year, when Lucas, now 18 months, entered their lives, giving them renewed vigour, and a chance at parenting they never thought they would have.
“That is the success of our programme. It is when we place children who need a loving family into the arms of loving parents who have been longing for a child,” Maxine Bagalue, adoption coordinator at the Child Protection and Family Services Agency (CPFSA), told The Sunday Gleaner. “Nothing brings us greater joy than helping to forge these lasting bonds, which is essential to the well-being of the child.”
For Charisse and Matthew, who adopted their sons from a children’s home in Jamaica, there were many cultural differences and behaviours to overcome as they transitioned from the Caribbean to the United States. The language barrier took some time to chip away, and so, too, did the novelty of a secure, loving family, which made Everton particularly anxious at times.
Charisse said her adoption dream began taking shape many years ago when she visited Costa Rica and interacted with disadvantaged children in the Central American country. Since then, she had a desire for a family blended with biological and adopted children. That flame burned brighter when her husband welcomed the idea after marriage.
Adopting in the United States came with particular challenges and almost defeated her dream of adopting from another country, she said. She wanted a toddler, one who was not far away from his home country and customs, she said, adding that gender was not a key consideration.
LIFE-CHANGING CALL
Charisse said she applied for adoption privileges in 2018, and after a long wait particularly due to COVID-19, she was informed by the CPFSA in May 2021 that she was invited to adopt both siblings.
The couple jumped at the opportunity and after several bittersweet visits with boys – while they were still living at the children’s home in Montego Bay and the process ran its course – the youngsters were finally adopted and taken to the US last year.
For security purposes, not much can be said about the boys’ past, other than they were taken into state custody after their mother was found medically unfit to take care of them. No father or relatives stepped forward, explained Charisse, praising the CPFSA for their thorough – albeit lengthy – process.
“In May 2021, we got the call that Bejournae and Everton were three and five at the time and were in need of their forever home,” recalled a joyful Charisse, noting that three weeks later, she and her husband were in Jamaica. “Once we met them, we just immediately wanted to start a family.”
Settling in has sometimes been difficult for the boys in the last year and a half, she said, but a trip to Jamaica the week before Christmas has revealed their growth. Everton, she said, was embarrassed that he no longer sounded like his friends at the home who are fluent in Patois.
“I think it (adoption) has taught me a different level of patience, adaptability, and love. It can be challenging because you want to make the best decision for the kids and let them know they are excellent,” she said, adding that the new responsibilities have also transformed her husband and their friends and relatives.
“Everton is a very artistic boy. He likes baseball and he is a very kind and caring kid. He is very funny; we call him our Kevin Hart ‘cause he will have us at the dinner table in stitches,” she laughed. “BJ is the more athletic one. He is into soccer and basketball. He is the super-charismatic one who makes friends very easily. Both are now doing very well in school.”
“Our friends and family often comment that God was showing off when he brought our family together. What they mean by that is that we certainly feel we were truly a perfect match for each other,” she said. “There are so many children who just want and need love and a stable home, and in taking that journey, it positively impacts everyone involved, not only the children but also the parents, family, friends, and community.”
DREAM COME TRUE
For the older couple, Strotrell Lowe and his wife Camille, taking their son home in December 2021 was a dream come true.
They have been married since 2004, but, as Strotrell puts it, it seemed the universe never wished for them to have a biological child.
“I didn’t think I was going to be a father after a while, and to be a father at 50, boy, that was eye-opening! Waking up in the morning and seeing that face, even without him saying ‘Daddy’ as yet, is a joy,” he said excitedly. “We were always open to adoption. We went through a lot of things, surrogacy, looking to see if there was anybody who wanted to do that. But I really didn’t think that I would be a father and once I saw him, it just felt right.”
Matthew said it is a melting pot of trepidation and joy, knowing that there is a child he and his wife are in charge of steering and making into a “proper citizen”.
“Lucas was born on our anniversary date on May 8, so we felt that was a sign. He was meant to be ours. From we first saw him, he just felt like a part of us,” Camille, 48, told The Sunday Gleaner. “I always knew I wanted to be a mom and over the years of trying and not being successful, it was kind of demoralising. But he has added so much joy to my life and purpose. He has just really enriched my life.”
According to Bagalue of the CPFSA, “Our placement process is extensive. We match and observe the bonding between the child and family for a three-month supervisory period before the child is legally adopted,” she said, noting that the CPFSA also provides support for the families during the integration period.
* Surname changed.